The people realized that God was at work among them in what Jesus had just done. They said, "This is the Prophet for sure, God's Prophet right here in Galilee!" Jesus saw that in their enthusiasm, they were about to grab him and make him king, so he slipped off and went back up the mountain to be by himself. (6:14-15)
"Prompted by Deuteronomy 18:15, they concluded with enthusiasm that the new Moses was there with them... But they got the sign only half right. In the sign they saw that Jesus was from God when he provided them with a miraculous meal. But they misunderstood the sign when they wanted to "grab him and make him king" (verse 15). They wanted to force Jesus into becoming a political king who would free them from Roman rule.
"Jesus response? He escaped into the hills. We can't make Jesus do what we think he ought to do. We can't make him conform to our ideas of how he should rule. He is indeed king, but the way he rules is not our way. We can't dictate to him the terms of his office. We can only surrender to his terms." Eugene Peterson, Conversations, pg. 1648How many times have I tried to make Jesus do what I wanted? Prayed selfishly for my will to be done? Demanded that He give me what I long for so badly? Gotten angry when He hasn't delivered?
Too many times, I'm afraid. And I'm seeing plenty of my own sin through the lens of our failed adoption. My internal reactions have only exposed my faulty thinking and my expectations of how Jesus must work. I've been surprised at how often my emotions seem to be disconnected from my rational thoughts.
While I can sincerely rationalize my disappointment about the end of the adoption, my out-sized emotional reactions paint a different picture. On a deep emotional level, I think I expected that God would work it all out or do a miracle. You know, do whatever was required for Him to receive the glory and for an orphan to find her home. After all, HE'S the One who laid this desire to adopt on our hearts, not us.
Apparently, it didn't seriously cross my mind that He can (and will) receive glory through both expected and unexpected outcomes. I now see how oblivious I was to my own subtle demands of Him.
Thankfully, this is no surprise to my Lord. He observes everything, including the stuff I'm blind to in myself. And it's just one more reminder of my Savior's unfathomable love for me. It's entirely without conditions, freely given despite my very imperfect behavior. He loves me just as I am.
Astounding.
1 comment:
Overwhelmed too by how our sin pours out. And how hard it is to truly trust God in my daily life. My expectations of Jesus are so wrong many times. I love reading John now because it's just reminding me daily of who HE REALLY IS. And getting to know Him not my idea of Him.
Your vulnerability, Cici, about your expectations and emotions are so genuine and it is just an amazing witness to surrendering good desires to Him and trusting Him in the midst of the unknown and His mystery. Trusting in His plan for us. and remembering His love for us. It has encouraged me so much and just wanted to encourage you that your walk with Jesus and fight to pursue Him and ask Him to make You more like Him and love Him more is light into my life and i know many others. Thanks for being real and walking closely with Jesus. This narrow road is so worth it because we get the privilege and greatest blessing ever to be saved from hell and reconciled to THIS JESUS.
It's amazing how Jesus just loves and accepts us as we are and doesn't say "clean yourself up" then come to me. He just says come to me. Remembering His grace helps me so much to be grateful and accept His love and forgiveness all over me daily so that I can even start to try to love others through His power and LOVE.
Astounding :)
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