July 21 - Proverbs 24-26: A Gold Ring Slipped on My Finger

My sin seems to be spilling out all over the place. I haven't been able to keep my ugly emotions in check, and I'm not usually a person who lives by my feelings. Yet everything is irritating me, and that's always a clear sign that I'm not walking in the Spirit. I've mentioned recently that I haven't been the easiest person to live with. Unfortunately, not much has changed. I am still rather unpredictable and moody and seem to have hair-trigger responses.

And I know when it feels like everybody else's fault, it's really me. Something is going on with me, and I've been trying to figure out the root of the problem.

I've finally recognized that, on some level, I'm still living the lie that I can manage my behavior and use self-improvement to live the Christian life. Although I encourage others to fully depend on Christ, I have actually thought, "I should be able to get this under control!" and "if I just do this more and do that less, I'll get my act together."

But the more I dive into the Scriptures, the more my sin is exposed and evident, and I'm overwhelmed with my inability to overcome my sin. On some deep level, I'm truly surprised by my sin. I have believed that I should be able to finally rid myself of my sins of choice and not have to deal with pride, arrogance, judgment, and anger ever again.

But if that was true, I wouldn't need a Savior. I would have no need for Jesus or for the penalty He paid on the cross on my behalf.

So here I am, a hypocrite, saying I believe one thing and acting completely differently. I know I can never be good enough to earn the free gift of God's grace, and yet I can be so easily deceived into behaving as if I can.

In the past few days, two people close to me have pointed out some not-so-flattering things about me, and I didn't handle it well. In the moment, I was hurt, defensive, and angry. I blamed others for my behavior and tried to deflect responsibility for my sin.

However, deep down, I knew that there was a lot of truth to what they were saying, which made me all the more angry. (Funny how that works.) Their message hit a little too close to home, and I over-reacted and sinned even more. Thankfully, these are two people who see through my bluster, who refuse to walk on eggshells around me, and who don't hesitate to call me out on my sin. They didn't back down in the face of my anger.

As my emotions have subsided and I've had time to pray and reflect upon the situations, I see more than ever that I need friends like that in my life. I need to surround myself with authentic people who will tell me the truth about myself and themselves. I need wise and caring friends who see my blind spots, who can differentiate between quirks and sin, who point me to Christ in every circumstance, and who love me enough to correct me.

An honest answer is like a warm hug. (24:26)

[A] wise friend's timely reprimand is like a gold ring slipped on your finger. (25:12)

Liars hate their victims; flatterers sabotage trust. (26:28)