Point your kids in the right direction -- when they're old they won't be lost. (22:6)
Young people are prone to foolishness and fads; the cure comes through tough-minded discipline. (22:15)
Don't stealthily move back the boundary lines staked out long ago by your ancestors. (22:28)
Don't stealthily move back the boundary lines or cheat orphans out of their property, for they have a powerful Advocate who will go to bat for them. (23:10-11)
Don't be afraid to correct your young ones; a spanking won't kill them. A good spanking, in fact, might save them from something worse then death. (23:13-14)
Dear child, if you become wise, I'll be one happy parent. My heart will dance and sing to the tuneful truth you'll speak. (23:15-16)
Oh listen, dear child - become wise; point your life in the right direction. (23:19)
Listen with respect to the father who raised you, and when your mother grows old, don't neglect her....Parents rejoice when their children turn out well; wise children become proud parents. So make your father happy! Make your mother proud! (23:22-25)
Dear child, I want your full attention; please do what I show you. (23:26)With these verses, I don't want to make the mistake that Crabb exposes,
"Too many churchgoers read a few favorite verses in Proverbs, such as 'Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it' (22:6 NKJV) and think they've found the manual to make life work, a map to the Promised Land."I am painfully aware, that at any moment, my girls could choose to turn their backs on God and on us, her parents. There are no guarantees in this parenting gig and there is no report card. So, instead of a parenting manual, what I do want to hear is the framework of truth that God is revealing and to see the wisdom I lack. So, as a mom, here's what I think God is impressing on me:
To point my kids in the right direction and to help them recognize their foolishness, I must be very present with them, just as Christ was very present with his disciples and as He is ever-present with me. This can be exhausting and self-denying and I think God is en-couraging me for the continued bumpy ride. For our family, being present has meant having meals together most evenings; reading and watching what our kids are reading and watching; taking vacations together; praying together as a family every night; and anything else that can be done together, choosing to do it in a way that allows us to know what's shaping their hearts and minds. I felt like I observed and learned much from the cross-cultural families we were with who did not have all the social choices we have and were therefore very present with their children - it was beautiful to see.
Keeping the "boundary lines" staked is an interesting phrase to me. As I asked God about it, here's what I heard: As parents, lead your family where you want them to go. Don't allow the boundaries of your role as parent and their role as child to get moved or confused. Do not allow your child's behavior or your fear of their unpredictability or their whim-of-the-day decide where they are going. Lean on Me to lead you, then lead your children.
Finally, God impressed on me the fact that my children are His dear children. They are precious, beyond value, and worth the sacrifice of His dear Son. So, I must relate to them in the same way and love them as I love myself.
What about you? Any parenting thoughts that God is impressing on you through this "guide to skillful living"?
Or, like me, is this stirring up inadequacies about your own parents that you need to release them from?
5 comments:
I appreciate the wisdom in this post, Staci. I learn so much from watching you parent your girls.
I try to remember that I'm not baking cookies here. It's not just a matter of the right ingredients. "If I do these five things with the correct measures, then they'll turn out well." Not so, unfortunately. My controlling little heart wants more guarantees in this gig! :-)
Yet I know it's a matter of me walking daily with the Lord, yielding myself to Him, obeying His commands, and trusting that He knows and loves my children infinitely more than I do. Parenting is definitely the most humbling thing I've ever done, and I'm only on the front end of it.
Speaking of which, my own dear child has a birthday today. Sweet little Meredith is two years old! Right now we're waiting for her to wake up so we can go sing Happy Birthday to her. So fun!
Hard to believe how quickly they grow.
Happy Birthday Meredith! It is hard to believe how fast they grow. Luke is five and Jenna is three. Luke starts Kindergarten in the fall.
As for parenting, Dan and I just finished a class called Love and Logic. It has brought more peace to our home, no more nagging, etc. Just loving our kids and allowing them to learn through the consequences of their poor choices. Pretty biblical in many respects.
I agree with Cici and Staci that keeping close to God is critical in loving them and guiding them well. It also helps, as Staci mentioned, to see them as gifts from God. I remind them of this constantly! They are beautiful and I'm loving this age!
One question for ya'll- my kids don't like to pray with me at night. I ask them if they would like to pray and they typically say no. Any suggestions?
We are heading on vacation to see family for a couple of weeks. I hope to stay tuned but not sure if my iphone will have access on Lake Erie.
thanks for all you share!
Lisa, I agree that the Love & Logic class is excellent!
And great question on praying with your kids. I think that this falls into the category of not moving the boundaries. Praying with your kids is your spiritual leading, not a choice they make. But, like eating and sleeping, while you can't make your child do them, you can set the environment and the example.
So, when we've been faced with less-than-enthusiastic little pray-ers, we just kept up the nightly routine and verbally prayed over them so that they could hear our hearts toward them and toward God. They can choose to pray out loud or not, but we're going to continue doing what we know God desires from us.
Your kiddos are still young and they'll eventually catch on to the importance you place on prayer - especially since you're praying about them!
Once our kids began attending school and had all kinds of issues that needed prayer, they became even more enthusiastic about sharing their requests and then praying themselves!
Keep up the good Mommy-work, Lisa!
Deut 6:6 the whole secret of parenting ~ what's on your heart is what you are passing on to them. And if it comes from a good place in your heart, a giving place, then it will be life and you'll see God and know rest. If it doesn't come from a good place in your heart, like a grabbing for success as a parent, a grabbing for recognition, validation, being right, being on top of it, and not enjoying your kids, then you won't have a heart-relationship with them. "The unexamined life is simply not worth living." (Socrates). Every day we have the awesome privilege to repent of management theology and give it up for reformation theology. What I love about this blog is that you allow your God to examine your hearts always. You put yourself in places every day where you do just that cause it's not about doing the right things but being the mom's God has called us to be. Not "do"ers but "be"ers of the Word. Sure do love your hearts for Him!
PS - Prayed for Meredith on her birthday, may she grow to be a woman of strength in God and not herself. Isa 30:15. I have a tiny something for her and would love to stop by your house sometime between Thursday and Saturday. Text me a good time for a short visit. I don't work on Fridays.
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