“I gave Solomon the discernment to recognize the way of wisdom and to identify in everyday life the way of foolishness. As you read Proverbs, expect to feel the shame of exposure. Many of your ways are foolish. Expect, too, to feel the appeal of wisdom. I gave you a heart that wants to walk the narrow road.” 66 LLI noticed this quote when I read Crabb's Proverbs chapter, and it was brought to mind again when Bev mentioned it in her comment. At that point though, I wasn't really up for the shame of exposure. Life was too hectic, and I wasn't interested in going there, so I just ignored it.
Now I'm on a plane back to Austin after a weekend in Chicago for a baby shower, and I'm reading Proverbs. I've been digging through these chapters, asking God to show me what He has for me, and frankly, it's not what I hoped for. Apparently, I've brought my own agenda to the Scriptures today, and God's having none of it.
I'm squirming because God's causing me to confront my unconfessed sin. Here are the verses He's using today:
A nagging spouse is a leaky faucet. (19:13)
[A] congenial spouse comes straight from God. (19:14)
Take good counsel and accept correction - that's the way to live wisely and well. (19:20)
It's a mark of good character to avert quarrels, but fools love to pick fights. (20:3)
Better to live alone in a tumbledown shack than share a mansion with a nagging spouse. (21:9)
Better to live in a tent in the wild than with a cross and petulant spouse. (21:19)
Watch your words and hold your tongue; you'll save yourself a lot of grief. (21:23)Let's just say that I haven't been the easiest person to live with lately. I've been stressed, demanding, irritable, selfish, snappy, and sensitive. I've been that cross and petulant spouse, and I'm feeling the shame of exposure. Even in this confession, my sin of pride lurks in the shadows as I want to list all of the so-called valid reasons I've been this way, but truthfully, I am without excuse.
God is convicting me, and I need to listen to Him and repent of my sin. God gave me to my husband to be a blessing, a suitable helpmate, and an encourager - not a nagging or angry wife - but I can only be that kind of person as I'm yielded to the Spirit. I absolutely cannot do it in my power. (John 15:5)
Thankfully, after pouring out my heart to God, I'm able to embrace the forgiveness and fellowship that Jesus offers, rather than feeling condemned or discouraged. He knows my heart and my struggle with sin, and I'm trusting that God is in charge of human life, watching and examining us inside and out. (20:27)
I read Proverbs and so desire to be the wise and loving woman that Solomon describes. I want to walk the narrow road. But rather than trying harder, I know that the paradoxical answer is to yield myself more to the Lord.
1 comment:
That is so God at work in you! Just beautiful!
My son went in for a biopsy for melanoma today. I wrestled with how we would pay for it. What the long-term results would be. What he would look like---the lesion is on his lower lip. God was so in it! And HE did way more than just take care of Britt physically, He dealt with our hearts, the shame of exposure, to find a little more rest in Him than before, and to repent of my ways to manage even my children's affairs. When the doc said, "No Charge!" a tear rolled down. And someone said to me: Isaiah 46:4 - He is carrying us and exposing our hearts. God is in this and He is sustaining me. Results: a lentigo and they decided not to biopsy yet because of scar tissue but to measure the growth. Hearing an audible appeal of wisdom tonight to "let go" of my adult children who are being sustained by a Good God.
Post a Comment