January 9 - Matthew 6: Not A Performance

My three-year-old has recently begun to pray more creatively. She's moving beyond the canned prayers at mealtimes. You know, the "thank you Jesus for this food amen" kind of prayers.

Now she's thanking Jesus for Mommy and Daddy and Meredith and "myself." Yesterday, she surprised me by praying for "great manners, gentle hands, and everything you do, God." Not sure where those came from, but they made me chuckle internally.

But I've noticed that she's looking around the table checking our reactions, to see whether we liked her prayer. Instead of talking to Jesus, she's seeking affirmation from her family and those around her.

As I was thinking about this new development last night, I realized that I have often done the same thing with my prayers. When praying with others, I wonder if I'm making sense to everyone else, if I've forgotten to pray for some pertinent detail for someone, if I'm repeating what someone else has already said, and how to avoid the annoying cliches that so many use in prayer. Yet, Jesus explicitly says,

Be especially careful when you are trying to be good so that you don't make a performance out of it. It might be good theater, but the God who made you won't be applauding. (6:1)

"There are great dangers in the practice of piety. Nothing is as offensive as people who make a great show of their piety. Jesus never spoke more angrily than when he spoke of these people. He called them hypocrites." Eugene Peterson, Conversations, pg. 1494

Yikes. I realize that I have often made praying more of a performance. In those moments, I obviously care more about what others think of me and how they view me. In those situations, it's work for me to concentrate on the Lord, to forget that others are listening, to care mostly what He thinks. Frankly, I just want to sound good. But God sees right through my seemingly spiritual actions to my selfish motives. Instead, He says,

Here's what I want you to do: Find a quiet, secluded place so you won't be tempted to role-play before God. Just be there as simply and honestly as you can manage. The focus will shift from you to God, and you will begin to sense his grace. (6:6)

Authenticity in my prayer life, both alone and in groups, exposes my heart to the Lord and invites Him into my struggles, hopes, and circumstances. When I actually focus on who He is in my life and am real about my feelings, my attitude and perspective mysteriously change from being all-about-me to seeing the bigger picture of God's story.

"The only way to come to God is by taking off any spiritual mask. The real you has to meet the real God. He is a person...In bringing your real self to Jesus, you give him the opportunity to work on the real you, and you will slowly change. The kingdom will come. You'll end up less selfish. 

The kingdom comes when Jesus becomes king of your life. But it has to be your life. You can't create a kingdom that doesn't exist, when you try to be better than your really are. Jesus calls that hypocrisy - putting on a mask to cover the real you." Paul E. Miller, A Praying Life

I've found that it's only in those moments of being simple and honest, whether praying in a group or by myself, that I sense His Presence and His grace. When I stop trying to impress and just talk to my Father in Heaven about what's on my heart, my prayers are different. I'M different. My Father gives me His peace that passes understanding in the middle of my circumstances and emotions.

Before you know it, a sense of God's wholeness, everything coming together for good, will come and settle you down. (Philippians 4:7)

"Learning to pray doesn't offer us a less busy life; it offers us a less busy heart. In the midst of outer busyness we can develop an inner quiet." Paul Miller

Lord, forgive me for my performances, for making prayer more about me than about You. I want to know You better, and I want Your kingdom to come. Help me to be simple and honest in praying, and in time, to develop a less busy heart and an inner quiet.