We are in and out of Lamentations. Short but not sweet. Convicting but not condemning. Hopeful but not sappy. Reading this book has been exactly what I needed to help me see out of the fog of this past week.
He shuts me in so I'll never get out, manacles my hands, shackles my feet. Even when I cry out and plead for help, he locks up my prayers and throws away the key....
I gave up on life altogether. I've forgotten what the good life is like. I said to myself, 'This is it. I'm finished. God is a lost cause.'
I'll never forget the trouble, the utter lostness...I remember it all - oh, how well I remember - the feeling of hitting bottom. But there's one other thing I remember, and remembering, I keep a grip on hope:
God's loyal love couldn't have run out, his merciful love couldn't have dried up. They're created new every morning. How great your faithfulness! I"m sticking with God (I say it over and over). He's all I've got left....
Who do you think 'spoke and it happened'? It's the Master who gives such orders. Doesn't the High God speak everything, good things and hard things alike, into being? And why would anyone gifted with life complain when punished for sin?
Let's take a good look at the way we've living and reorder our lives under God. Let's lift our hearts and hands at one and the same time, praying to God in heaven: 'We've been contrary and willful, and you haven't forgiven....
And yet, God, you're sovereign still, your throne intact and eternal....Bring us back to you, God - we're ready to come back, give us a fresh start.' (3:7-9, 17-18, 19-21, 37-40, 5:19-21)
How ridiculous of me to think that my pain is anything to be compared to the suffering of Jeremiah or the Hebrew people. Yet somehow these ancient words speak directly into what I'm thinking and feeling today and the truth remains that my "suffering" is clearly a result of my own sin. My sin of being more concerned about fulfilling another's expectations and definitions of ministry than obeying God. My sin of fearing the loss of "status" in someone's eyes more than focusing on the wrong of my heart. My sin of wasting time mentally justifying my life rather than pouring my energy into confessing and depending on the Holy Spirit.
"Every moment of suffering represents a strident but merciful call to repent. And every moment of suffering presents a painful opportunity to hope.... Do not live to arrange for your own satisfaction. Confess the evil of your arrogance. Repent of your self-provision. Trust Me, in every moment of suffering." (66LL)
1 comment:
I agree, what a good breeze through lamentations to draw me closer back to Him. Everytime I read about the many ways the people have turned away from God, I am like, "again?" But it continually reminds me how that's my everyday life.
Bring us back to you, God- we're ready to come back. Give us a fresh start.
In the midst of a new season of trusting God in the unknown and I just want to come right at His feet. And know He is the only One worthy to follow and love. Oh, how He is carrying me in my faith.
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