July 6 - 1 Corinthians 2: God's Gift of Inadequacy

At this point in my life and walk with Christ, I'm dumbfounded by the time and energy I have expended trying to appear adequate. Actually wanting to appear more than adequate - to be seen as competent, capable, unflappable.  It's disturbing to me that I believe(d) that this is what Jesus required of me.  I took in and swallowed the messages from well-meaning leaders that I needed to lead out of my strengths, to be abundantly resourced, to move confidently into ministry armed with the latest strategies.  I'm hearing the Holy Spirit lead in a new way through Paul's letter:

I deliberately kept it plain and simple:  first Jesus and who he is; then Jesus and what he did - Jesus crucified.

I was unsure of how to go about this, and felt totally inadequate - I was scared to death, if you want the truth of it - and so nothing I said could have impressed you or anyone else.  But the Message came through anyway.  God's Spirit and God's power did it, which made it clear that your life of faith is a response to God's power, not to some fancy mental or emotional footwork by me or anyone else.  (1 Cor. 2:2-5)

What I think I'm reading here is that Paul's feelings of inadequacy led him to keep the Gospel simple.  He then shared the plain Message in the fear of his own lack of ability and competence.  "But the Message came through anyway."  And because of Paul's deficiencies - his acknowledgement and awareness of them - there was nothing and no one that could be given any credit, except God's Spirit and God's power.

What a beautiful picture of God's work.

All of these truths are leading me to evaluate who and what I'm leaning on other than Christ.  They're causing me to let go of some of the "crutches" of programs, materials, strategies, and personalities that are wrapped around human ability and wisdom.  This process is disruptive, like removing embedded splinters or possibly like removing a tattoo.  These are things are a part of me and a part of my identity, but they impede God's Spirit and His power to share this simple Message.