"In Matthew, I heard words that made me more clearly aware of two things. First, You want to get heaven into me, to get me living more like Your Son so I can begin enjoying heaven's party now. And the more I do live like Him, the more Your kingdom is taking over my life and positioning itself to spread into others. Second, the real battle I'm fighting is going on inside me. As You bring Your kingdom into me, the devil and the world system oppose every move You make, but my worst enemy is my own self-centeredness, the spirit within me that thinks it's my right for life to go the way I want it to." 66 LLWe spent the weekend in south Louisiana, visiting my mother-in-law. It was a good visit, and we got to enjoy a small-town version of a Mardi Gras parade down Main Street. The girls had a blast, and now we have a huge stash of beads, stuffed animals, and candy. Not exactly sure what I'm going to do with all of those...
On the drive home, Harry and I were talking about the evolution of our relationship with his mom. It's almost shocking how far it's come over the past couple of years because for a long time, it was pretty awful. There was a lot of misunderstanding, demands, unforgiveness, and plain ol' selfishness (on both sides) that made for a difficult and unpleasant relationship all the way around.
It's amazing to see how the Lord has changed Harry and me and, in turn, transformed the relationship. While I often haven't been able to see the incremental progress along the way, I am increasingly aware of how God's kingdom has taken over more of our lives, as evidenced in us choosing to lay down our rights in this relationship, to accept her the way she is, to serve her in tangible ways, and to show her love in ways that she can receive.
And all the while, the very real battle has been raging inside of me. It's been hard to let go of my way, to serve and love unselfishly when it's not reciprocated, and to move towards her by faith. It hasn't always been pretty because the root of self-centeredness runs deep in me.
But I'm thankful for the awareness of God's purpose in bringing His kingdom into my life and transforming me, and for the very important focus on where the actual battle lies - in me. I'm reminded that I need to consistently resist the preferences of my flesh and yield to the Spirit in order to promote love and harmony in this challenging relationship.
And as I continue to trust God to love my mother-in-law through me and to use me to (somehow) influence her for His kingdom, I'm taking heart in the truth that Jesus is always near.
I'll be with you as you do this, day after day after day, right up to the end of the age. (28:20)What about you? As we finish up Matthew, what's lingering in your heart and mind? What has God made you more aware of in your own life?
4 comments:
Cici,
I'm so glad the relationship has improved over the years. Praise to our Heavenly Father who changes us so we might relect His love to others.
I am thankful as I leave this book to reflect on the power of Christ. Just today's reading left me in awe (once again) at Jesus' love for us. I'm reminded how we are filthy rags but yet He loved us enough to go through so much torture, slander, etc. for us. This truth bolsters me when my day can be especially tough.
I'm again so thankful for His Word, His grace, His gift to me, and His ongoing attention he offers me. Thank you Lord!
The words of v. 17 are haunting, "some held back, not sure about worship, about risking themselves totally." I see too much of my life that I'm holding back from God, not risking.
Staci, that same verse jumped out at me as we end Matthew:
The moment they saw him they worshiped him. Some, though, held back, not sure about worship, about risking themselves totally. (Matthew 28:17 MSG)
I was challenged to think: where am I holding back? In speaking the truth in love to people in my life? In not being bold enough to invite a neighbor to church? In not being bold enough to ask a friend if I can pray with them over the phone for fear of seeming too churchy? In not being bold enough to continually speak truth to my own husband in a loving way?
Yikes...I realize there are a lot of areas where I might be holding back.
Lord, I pray that instead of holding back, I would WORSHIP you in the way I love my friends, my neighbor and my own husband. May I throw off the sin that so easily entangles (my own darn selfishness and need for approval or fear of rejection) and LOVE well - in whatever way that You are calling me to love people in my life.
I'm back from travels! :) Thanks for sharing Cici! It is truly amazing how Gods grace pours out all over us and our relationships as we surrender our lives to Him.
I just finished reading "A Beautiful Offering" by Angela Thomas as we finish reading Matthew and I am so encouraged by Matt 6:33 seek first the Kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. I'm sitting on how do I love God with my life as a beautiful offering? To live life the way Jesus did, to not only read the Word and know it but to live it. To look at Jesus' life and reflect it through the power of His Spirit working in me and through me. I want my life to be a beautiful offering to God as a woman with a kingdom heart!
As we continue to real the gospels, I pray to continue to focus on how to see Jesus, hear Him and be a doer of His Word. To surrender to Jesus in my brokenness and weakness, to not be anxious, to not judge, to love my enemies, to lay up my treasures in heaven, and more transformations as I walk closely in intimacy. Thankful for the living Word that God uses to speak to us!
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