And now the scales are showing it. I hit an all-time (non-pregnant) personal high. Boo! My self-control with food has been non-existent, and there's no time like the present to reign it back in. Nothing radical - just reminding myself of the basics - eat when I'm hungry, exercise regularly, choose healthy options, and lay off the sugar.
But it's amazing what a battle it feels like as I attempt to take care of myself so that I can honor the Lord with my body and be physically healthy in order to serve Him well. Ugh. Romans 7, anyone?? It's so hard to do what's right, to stick with the program. Today I've been struggling mightily with the temptation to eat to soothe my emotions.
It's a little ironic that today's reading is on Jesus' temptation in the desert. I have so much to learn from Jesus, although my little food temptation seems very insignificant compared to His test given by the Devil.
The enemy tempted Jesus with food, entertainment, and power, yet Jesus, even in His weakened and hungry state, refused the Devil, quoting Scripture in response to the offers. Our Perfect Savior saw the temptations for what they were and didn't give in to them.
Eugene Peterson helped me understand what the three temptations of Jesus represent in my life today:
"The [first] temptation is to put the bread first and God second, to put the need for bread at the center of our lives and our need for God at the edge. Jesus said he wouldn't do it. He said his need for God preceded his need for bread. He said that the word of God was basic to his life; that bread was also necessary, but secondary...
The [second] temptation is to put excitement first and God second. The temptation is to think of our lives as humdrum and ordinary, and God as the one who will make them exciting. The temptation is to look at God as entertainment. Jesus said he wouldn't do it. He said he wouldn't use God to make his life interesting. He said that he would patiently let God make him his instrument...
The [third] temptation is to bypass God in order to do something good. The temptation is to be so obsessed with doing the right thing that we are willing to get rid of God in order to do it. The temptation is to be impatient with God's ways...The moment we want to make things better in the world and do it efficiently and effectively, God becomes the bottleneck...Jesus said he wouldn't do it. He said he wouldn't get rid of God in order to do God's will more efficiently." Eugene Peterson, Conversations, pgs. 1489-1490As I reflect on these, I see the ways that I give into these temptations everyday. The problem is much bigger than gaining some weight over the holiday season.
In my distress and neediness, I turned to food for comfort, rather than to my Father in Heaven. The extra pounds are less about what I choose to eat and much more about my identity in Christ and where I look for comfort, security, and worth.
I've resisted and resented the people and the circumstances that God has chosen to mold me, to make me an instrument for His glory. In my heart, I've been demanding things in my way, in my timing and been frustrated and irritated when things don't go as I think they should. That happened a lot during the time with extended family over the holidays.
And I've been sorely tempted on many occasions to take matters into my own hands for the sake of efficiency and effectiveness (two of my favorite words!), especially related to the adoption, having another child, and difficult relationships. God's ways of dealing with these situations have been excruciatingly slow, and I've often been very impatient and resentful.
"All the time, subtle temptations like these are being introduced into our lives. They don't seem like temptations - they are temptations of violence or sexual promiscuity or cheating. They are temptations to be sensible about life and take care of our own basic needs, and then after we've taken care of them, to do something about God. They are temptations to treat God as the entertainment in our lives, putting excitement into the drone of our existence and interpreting everything that's ordinary and routine as the absence of God. They are temptations to make the world a little better on our own but eliminate God for the sake of efficiency.
If Jesus had said yes to any one of these temptations, he wouldn't be our Savior.
And if we say yes to any one of these temptations, we diminish God in our lives. And in diminishing him, we diminish ourselves." PetersonWhat about you? Are you diminishing God in your life like I am? How do you see these temptations play out in your life?
4 comments:
What a great morning in Matthew, meditation and reading this blog!
I went in a different direction with the reading than you did Cici, but your response is right to the point in clarifying some of the questions I had about the temptations. Very thought-provoking regarding how I view God: secondary to my own needs (for food, entertainment, expedite my "good" plans). I'd love to ponder this a bit more deeply. I know I "use" God for my own purposes and to justify decisions and behaviors.
But this morning the Lord took me down a different path relating to the second half of today's reading. The phrase, "God's government, a good government" (v23 or 24) stood out to me. It related to what Jesus said earlier in chapter 4 ("Change your life. God's kingdom is here,"), John proclaimed the same in chapter 3, and it reminded me of one of my favorite parts of the Christmas season:
He'll take over running the world.
His names will be: Amazing Counselor, Strong God, Eternal Father, Prince of Wholeness.
His ruling authority will grow,
and there will be no limits
to the wholeness he brings."
Isaiah 9:6
So I spent a good bit of my morning thinking about what it looks like to submit to God's good governing in my life, about what it looks like to submit to a government (good or bad), and how that can consume the way I live my everyday life.
But now that I type this out, it totally corresponds to what you were saying Cici about the temptations.
I know I cannot live on "bread" alone so how do I bring You glory today? As I'm going about my "list" today, Lord, please lead me. I want You in my day. Help me Lord to be patient with my kids today and loving towards my husband.
Right with you, friends in how I'm wrestling with God over my desires.
Two phrases poked me in the eye in chapter 4. Peter & Andrew "dropped their nets and followed." James & John were "quick to follow, abandoning boat and father."
I have so often viewed my Christian life as something added on to my already good life - a supplement or bonus. These words are clearly challenging that - it's dropping my life, abandoning it so that I can fully follow Christ. This is radical thinking forcing difficult decisions in my self-focused plans; my self-protection of reputation, finances, and time.
Its so nice to be joinging this community this year in reading through the New Testament. As a reaccuring theme has surfaced with using God to make an already pleasent life greater, its a humbling reality. It's also a constant battle to rest assured that I am loved and accepted exactly where I am at and that by even joining this good thing of reading through the NT I am not appearing any greater in his eyes. Cause when we boil it down, its Jesus who is shown. It so easy to make things about ourselves, but the only name needed of praise is His. I loved Sarah the end of Isaih 9:6 "there will be no limits to the wholeness he brings" Lord if I can live daily in that knowledge and trust you supply.
Psalm 51:12" Restore to me the joy of your salvation and grant me a willing spirit to sustain me." Has been my constant prayer in this season of life.
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