A few years ago when experiencing the underbelly of church leadership, Eric and I went kayaking on Town Lake. Just us, the water, the trees, and lots of turtles - swimming in the water, laying all over logs, sunning themselves on rocks. I wanted to be one of those turtles - no worries except which stump I would choose to hang out on for the day. Why try to find meaning in life? Why keep fighting for the gospel? Let me just lay here in the sun.
These are a couple of my more memorable "ecclesiastes" experiences, when life seemed like nothing but "spitting in the wind." My desire to achieve and recreate or find the beauty of Switzerland in my life, in my home or flower beds was gone because it never measured up. The passion for ministry subsided because it no longer seemed worth the constant headaches and conflict. Was there anything beautiful or eternal to be found in my life?
God hasn't made it easy for us. I've seen it all and it's nothing but smoke - smoke and spitting into the wind.
Life's a corkscrew that can't be straightened, a minus that won't add up. (1:14-15)In a weird way, those words are comforting to me - knowing that the wisest, wealthiest, most powerful man of his time was thinking that way, even though he had everything. He puts words to my discontentment. Gratefully, this is not God's end for me. This is not where He takes me and leaves me.
"I lower you into the depths of despair to lift you into the heights of joy. The way up is the way down. There is no other way. You will not hear My song of love until you hear no other music..."
"Leave me in Ecclesiastes until I can hear the Song of Songs." (66LL)
1 comment:
Something stirs in you Staci that is so of God. Beauty. Hope. Unmet Desire.
No formulas here in Ecclesiastes. No management theology because
it's reformation theology.
Solomon ended up hating everything he had accomplished & achieved & accumulated. Eccl 4:14 He gives up on anything that could be hoped for on this earth. Reminds me of what we studied this morning at church, Col 1:5 that our hope is laid up in heaven not here. Our hope isn't the best life here. May God reveal the foolish footprints we all pursue to do the best things here----for Whom? For Whom do you carry the stone? Col 1:25 our hope is the Gospel and learning to love well and walk by faith by His Energy not our own, Col 1:29.
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