God is a safe place to hide, ready to help when we need him. We stand fearless at the cliff-edge of doom, courageous in seastorm and earthquake, before the rush and roar of oceans, the tremors that shift mountains.
Jacob-wrestling God fights for us, Yahweh of angel armies protects us. Psalm 46:1-7
As I read Psalm 46, I want to take it at face value and simply believe the surface meaning: I am safe, I am fearless, God is fighting for me, so all is well. But, I know that’s not my reality; it’s not what God is speaking to me through this psalm. The truth is I struggle with fears and then I become cranky and impatient with people. I wrestle with insecurity and it looks like a critical spirit, anxiety, and working hard to make everything okay.
“But what I struggle with – and so many others struggle with the same thing – is fear: fear of failure, fear of rejection, fear of bad things happening like the death of a child or loss of a job, fear of disapproval, fear of not having what it takes to relate well or succeed in life, fear of being on the outside, fear of looking foolish, fear of depending on someone and realizing they’re not there for me. All kinds of fears and insecurities. It’s pretty clear that something’s wrong inside me or I wouldn’t be so afraid but I don’t know what it is.” (66LL)
So, how can this psalm have any truth to it? How in the world am I to stand fearless at the edge of the cliff? How is God fighting for me when I feel so drained by the constant struggles in front of me? Shouldn’t I be feeling light and carefree throughout life if I’m protected? What’s wrong with me, I don’t feel this way.
God pulls me deeper into the psalm, asking me to remember His wrestling with Jacob. This reference is here for a reason.
Then Jacob was left alone; and a Man wrestled with him until the breaking of day. Now when He saw that he did not prevail against him, He touched the socket of his hip; and the socket of Jacob’s hip was out of join as He wrestled with him. Genesis 32:24-25
The God that is fighting for me is also the God who caused Jacob to have a constant limp; a permanent disfigurement. This was God’s protection. Looks a little different than my idea of refuge and safety.
Jacob did not define the protection of God as no personal injuries or impact. He did not separate God’s fighting for him from his own entanglement in the wrestling. He saw the face of God and he also limped. It was not an either/or situation in the way that I selfishly want to interpret it. It is an all-God situation, no matter the circumstances, no matter my fears.And Jacob called the name of the place Peniel, “For I have seen God face to face and my life is preserved.” Just as he crossed over Penuel the sun rose on him and he limped on his hip. Gen. 32:30-31.
1 comment:
Psalm 48:9 Pondering God's Love-In-Action ... Psalm 49:9 No Insurance against the Black Hole. God is so changing my definitions of the good life. It's hard to see that suffering is a good thing. Honest engagement in my life requires suffering. To be present this moment with my husband, my family, my ministry, my world requires suffering to be fully alive and face what is there. I think we must wrestle and suffer with every conversation, every interaction. While God is so stirring us all. Loved what you had to say Staci and praying for you from a coffe shop in Seattle. And while we wrestle daily, it's a Beautiful Jacob-wrestling God fighting for us all. It's a Mighty God-of-the-Angel-Armies protecting us today. Love these thoughts.
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