I was embarrassed to ask the king for a cavalry bodyguard to protect us from bandits on the road. We had just told the king, "Our God lovingly looks after all those who seek him, but turns away in disgust from those who leave him." So we fasted and prayed about these concerns. And he [God] listened. (8:21-23)This paragraph grabbed me. Ezra realized there was a contradiction in his life. He recognized the duplicity of proclaiming to worship a loving, sovereign God and then asking a mere human to meet his need for protection. Ezra's response was to seek God and God listened
How often do I live in a similar contradiction - saying I believe that God is who He says He is, but then acting as if He is somehow incapable, forgetful, or doesn't have my best interests in mind? I say that God is all-powerful, the great Provider, but then I speak about our personal finances as if it all depends on me. I'll tell you that God is an all-knowing, loving Protector, but in the same conversation I'll speak of my children with worry and anxiety about their physical, emotional, and on-line safety.
I think I've become so comfortable with the contradictions of my life and beliefs, that unlike Ezra, I'm not embarrassed to ask for people to come through for me, even masking it behind spiritual-sounding requests. This reveals that my identity is not solely secured in God's reality, His ability, His character. It also reveals that I depend on myself and the listening ears of friends more than the ever-present help of my God. Ezra was different. He chose to listen and to live in his true identity in God.
"The People-of-God identity was recovered and preserved. Ezra used Worship and Text to do it. Ezra engaged them in the worship of God, the most all-absorbing, comprehensive act in which men and women can engage. This is how our God-formed identities become most deeply embedded in us. And Ezra led them into an obedient listening to the text of Scripture. Listening and following God's revelation are the primary ways in which we keep attentively obedient to the living presence of God among us" (Eugene Peterson, Intro. to Ezra)
Don't fool yourself into thinking that you are a listener when you are anything but, letting the Word of God go in one ear and out the other. Act on what you hear! Those who hear and don't act are like those who glance in the mirror, walk away, and two minutes later have no idea who they are, what they look like.
But whoever catches a glimpse of the revealed counsel of God - the free life! - even out of the corner of his eye, and sticks with it, is no distracted scatterbrain of a man or woman of action. The person will find delight and affirmation in the action. (James 1:22-25, Msg)As we finish up this quick reading of Ezra, is anyone else struggling with the contradictions in their life?
As you are listening to God and following Him, how is His living presence being revealed to you?
1 comment:
The last chapter of Ezra really grabbed me. The fact that the whole assembly of Israelites, after years of being married to foreign wives, were willing to confess,, repent and be separated from them blew my mind. That had to be painful - like ripping off a bandaid. These men had relationships with these wives, yet because of their love for God and desire to be holy, they were willing to no longer associate with them, no matter how painful that might be.
It makes me thunk of my own life - how God may have to help me rip the bandaid off, how I might have grown so accustomed to certain sin patterns that it will really hurt when it's time to turn away in repentance. Yet I want what God wants, ultimately - more of him, His holiness, His communion, His grace in my life. So that band-aid pain is worth it!
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