My sweetie has a nagging back problem. Years ago, he was ready to undergo back surgery to relieve the constant pain when someone mentioned a simple stretch that he should try. He was very skeptical - but desperate - so he tried it. To his amazement, the exercise relieved the pain almost immediately, and he avoided surgery.
His back has been hurting again lately, and he called himself Naaman because he's been reluctant to do the stretch. It seems too easy. It shouldn't work. Yet whenever he keeps at it, the back pain goes away.
Oh, how I can relate!
There are many situations in my life that I have already decided how things will/should/must work. And then God does things differently. I don't understand it. I certainly don't like it. And I balk. "I'm not doing that, Lord! Anything but THAT!" or "I want you to change me, God, but puh-lease don't use HER to do it." Yet when I have humbly obeyed rather than demanded my way, God has done a miracle work in me.
"Humiliated, Naaman left in a huff.
How many times have you done that? You've seen your need, sought help, only to be offered some remedy so different from what you expected, something so elemental, perhaps, that it insulted your intelligence; or something so undignified, maybe that it injured your sense of propriety.
Naaman was a man who was used to taking the initiative and taking control of his circumstances. His pilgrimage to Israel was a series of immersions into the waters of humility. He submitted to his wife's maid, to Elisha's servant, and finally to his own servants. In each case, he surrendered his will to someone who was of a lower socioeconomic status than he was. That, in fact, is how grace characteristically comes. Through humbling ourselves. If we're too arrogant to listen to the person beneath us, if we're too adamant about the way we think God should come to us, then we may very well walk away from the grace of a lifetime." Eugene Peterson, Conversations, pg. 537.
It's common knowledge that "God goes against the willful proud; God gives grace to the willing humble." James 4:6
As I write this, I'm struck by the irony that today is Good Friday, the day that Jesus went to the cross to pay a debt for me that I could never repay. Out of His great love, a humble, sinless man willingly takes on the sins of the world.
"My Father, if there is any way, get me out of this. But please, not what I want. You, what do you want?" Matthew 26:39
Against this backdrop, I'm staggered by my pride, my arrogance, and my demandingness. Wrestling with my profound sin, I found this contemplative prayer by Eugene Peterson very meaningful today:
Dear God,
Help me to humble myself before you,
listening to those I might normally dismiss,
going where I might normally detour,
content with a mediated word from you
rather than one that is more direct.
Do what? Where? How many times?
Help me not to walk away in a huff
when you ask me to do something I don't understand.
Wash me, O Lord, wherever you want, however many times you want.
Grant me the humility to descend into the river you have chosen for my cleansing,
in spite of the fact that it isn't the river I would have chosen.
Show me my arrogance, Lord. Show me.
3 comments:
Unexpected and indirect seem like the words for God's guidance in my life lately. Like Namaan I would like to make my own suggestions about the proper way for God to do things. There are still many unknowns but I think this loopy path really is God's straight and perfect plan. Hanging on for the ride! (typed on my phone from a bus loaded with middle schoolers headed to corpus Christi. What a way to spend good Friday!)
But, I thought...This verse came to mind this week when my car broke down twice and my Easter plans with my family of 8 have been canceled. My house is empty. Raise the Roof. The grave is empty. Something More than my world!
I thought life would be different if I did certain things...
May we all enter the Mystery of His Infinite Love this Resurrection Sunday.
Thanks for sharing that Naaman back pain story. I feel like Naaman too.
Lots of things have come up this week and I've just become discouraged and often been feeling so broken, myself, and for others. I keep wanting to either sulk in the wanting to give up, not having the strength to push on, or just find other solutions for this. Yet, I've been encouraged to just lean on Him harder. The simple solution...I should just do it. I got a gift of two beautiful pink lillies this weekend from a new friend. And I placed them in my morning reading window spot, in the sunlight. And just sang Surrender, Jeremy Camp, prayed this morning, continued to pray for heart stirring this easter as we celebrate Jesus being ALIVE! And already, within this longer morning or quietness, stillness, surrender, I feel refreshed. I feel more thankful. What a simple solution. Sitting before Him, again and again, in desperate need of a Savior.
So thankful to know the bad news in order to appreciate the good news. So thankful my Savior died for me. I surrender. Gal 2:20. Please pray for a Passion movie outreach tonight. For our Father to open hearts and show them humility in need of our Savior. :) Thanks to this blog, I feel like continuing reading and persevering through this journey this year is possible.
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