Instead of choosing the "love that is far better than than anything else" I'll ever find, I choose (or wander into) what I want, what comforts me in the moment, what doesn't make me feel too convicted, what allows me to move ahead in my life without having to slow down (or stop) and examine and lament and repent. Repentance that doesn't stop short at unholy behaviors and "good enough" Christianity, but repentance of a woman caught in the act of betraying her all-good, perfect, sacrificed-it-all God.
Like the adulterous woman thrown at Jesus feet for judgment, I deserve destruction. But, He does not destroy me. Instead, He offers me His Light for my darkness (Isa. 50:10-11); His Living Water for the thirst I deny (Jer. 2:13); His Sufficiency for the deception of my strengths (Ezekiel 13); His Presence as my Home in exchange for my house of cards (Gen. 4:17). This is supernatural love, far and away beyond anything I could imagine or dream. Yet, I cheat. He's calling me to repent - not quickly but relationally.
"Lord, what Thou wilt, where Thou wilt, when Thou wilt." (Baxter)
1 comment:
I woke up this morning thinking: "How do I repent of something I've done for the past 33 years?"---it's a keeping my distance kind of thing. And I wept. Deeper repentance. Your post invites me to more. Flirting with the world---makes me sad that I miss my God, my Best Friend, for what pulls me in. So grateful for Grace over all my mess.
Post a Comment