May 1 - John 19: My Heart, My Nature, My Love

I spent this past weekend on a high school orchestra trip with ninety 14-18 year olds plus chaperones, at a nearby resort.  As my daughter and I talked on the way home about what we'd experienced and observed during the weekend, she made an interesting statement.  "I'm so ready to be home and away from teenagers who only think about themselves.  Don't they know what's going on in the world?  How can they be so self-absorbed?"    Not too surprisingly, I was thinking the same thing about some of the adults.  There's a shift that occurs when people are away, on a break from their normal lives.  Much of their true selves comes out and they feel perfectly justified to turn all their energies to meeting their desires (without regard for the needs of others) with a sense of entitlement to their demands, simply because they're on vacation and they've paid for the privilege.

In John 19, Jesus was obviously not on vacation.  He was at the end of His life, which had already been difficult, and now was about to take the painful turn toward suffering in the utmost.  He had every human justification to be self-focused, to complain of His situation, and to demand His rights as the Son of God.   Instead, we see Him focused on the fulfillment of Scripture (v. 28) and on the care of His mother (v. 24-27).   Jesus' true self was revealed in these moments.

"...John, the dreamer, the poet, a man to whom I revealed the deepest truth about My Son, a truth that no one without My Spirit's prompting could imagine - I chose this man to present the One who fully revealed what it means to live as I live, who revealed My heart, My nature, My love."  (66LL)

In the midst of His suffering, Jesus revealed His Father's heart, just as He had in every moment of His life.  There was no justification, no excuse, no change of venue that entitled or enticed Jesus to be anything else.

My conviction is great.  How easily I allow a situation, a hurt, or a felt need justify selfishness.  When my true self is revealed, it is rarely a heart wrapped around the Living Word or His command to love others.  Instead, what is revealed is my heart pursuing its own desires, not yielded to my Father's nature.

Father, the picture You painted for me this weekend of living for self was unattractive and even repulsive.  Left to myself, this is how I live and I feel justified in doing so.  The picture You painted through Your Son is so opposite of this and draws me into Your love and into a new way of living in Your Spirit.