January 19 - Matthew 14: Effects of Adversity

"You will hear My voice in Matthew more clearly when you pay close attention to what's happening in people's lives, including your own. I always say what you and your friend - and everyone else - most need to hear. See where you are. Then you will hear My truth." 66 LL

Where am I? In some moments, I've overwhelmed by my own sin, failures, and inadequacies, forgetting that Jesus lives His life in and through me. Mixed in there are moments of absolute clarity, incredible joy and gratitude, and burning desire to bring glory to God in all that I am and do. It's discouraging to see how much the trials and circumstances of life affect my experience of God. Life isn't feeling very abundant right now.

Frankly, it's a little comforting to see that the disciples, the guys who saw Jesus in action, were similarly confused. At times, they too were overwhelmed and complaining, forgetting Jesus' power in their lives and losing perspective in the midst of difficulties.

Toward evening, the disciples approached him. "We're out in the country and it's getting late. Dismiss the people so they can go to the villages and get some supper." 

But Jesus said, "There is no need to dismiss them. You give them supper." 

"All we have are five loaves of bread and two fish," they said. (14:15-17)

Jumping out of the boat, Peter walked on the water to Jesus. But when he looked down at the waves churning beneath his feet, he lost his nerve and started to sink. He cried, "Master, save me!" 

Jesus didn't hesitate. He reached down and grabbed his hand. Then he said, "Faint-heart, what got into you?" (14:29-31)

I read a quote recently that resonates with me - "Adversity introduces a person to himself." How true! The disciples got to face the reality of their sin and failures in these situations (and more to come), and I get to do the same thing everyday.

I'm seeing sides of myself that desperately need the gospel. And because of it, I'm experiencing God's grace in fresh ways. I'm seeing God's plan of redemption with new eyes, and my heart is moved in ways it never has been before. In my new awareness, I'm repenting of some sins for the very first time.

In my moments of clarity, I can see that this extended time of adversity is God's grace to me. He's changing me on the inside - answers to many prayers! And I'm a little ashamed that I've lost His perspective and been complaining so much.

Remember every road that God led you on for those forty years in the wilderness, pushing you to your limits, testing you so that he would know what you were made of, whether you would keep his commandments or not. He put you through hard times. He made you go hungry. Then he fed you with manna...so you would learn that men and women don't live by bread only; we live by every word that comes from God's mouth. (Deuteronomy 8:2-3)

Lord, forgive me for not fully trusting Your goodness and Your power as life has been more difficult that I'd like. By faith, I thank You for the adversity, for testing me and showing me what's in my heart. I want to see Your Truth. I want to see You! I pray that You'll give me God-blessed eyes - eyes that see! - and God-blessed ears - ears that hear! (13:16) May I not get so discouraged that I lose sight of Your redeeming love or Your power to transform me. Thank You for Your Word so I can know the Truth.

"My Son's mission was to change your life, to bring you into My kingdom of love by forgiving your self-worshiping rebellion that keeps you falling short of My way of relating and by empowering you to bring My kingdom near to others by the radically changed way you can now relate. He never intended to keep you visibly good and pleasantly happy until heaven. He came to reveal My nature for your sake and to change your nature for Mine." 66 LL