January 2 - Matthew 1: Figuring a Way Out

The new year begins away from home for us. We have been visiting both sides of our families in Oklahoma and I've stolen away for an hour to read and to write this blog. A welcome moment of quiet in the midst of family noise. As I quickly reflect back on 2011 and forward on 2012, I feel the familiar sense of disappointment and dissatisfaction. Disappointment in opportunities lost, in choices made and in my cycles of sin. Dissatisfaction in relationships that could be richer and in lackluster experiences. But God. But God is redeeming these regrets in a new way in my heart. It's not as much about what I perceive I'm missing as what I believe God is calling me to - Himself. All else is disappointing and dissatisfying, as it should be.

These feelings are not something to plan away by filling my new calendar with better strategies for accomplishment. They're not the impetus for setting new goals in who to spend time with so that there are more people who encourage me rather than drain me. This deep ache is the wooing of God that will not be fully realized until Eternity.
I sense this same ache in Joseph's response to Mary's news,

Joseph, chagrined but noble, determined to take care of things quietly so Mary would not be disgraced. While he was trying to figure a way out, he had a dream, God's angel spoke in the dream: 'Joseph, son of David, don't hesitate to get married. Mary's pregnancy is Spirit-conceived.... She will bring a son to brith, and when she does, you, Joseph, will name him Jesus - 'God saves' - because he will save his people from their sins.....'

Watch for this - a virgin will get pregnant and bear a son: They will name him Immanuel (Hebrew for 'God is with us'). Then Joseph woke up. He did exactly what God's angel commanded in the dream... (1:19-25)

Joseph's life plans had been disrupted. Mary would not be the eager young virgin on their wedding night. Their chaste obedience was not rewarded, but instead tongues would wag and there was no way to explain. He had done everything right and God wasn't coming through for him in the way he expected. He was chagrined - vexed and disappointed - but he chose to do the right thing, to gut it out and do the noble thing. Now, he just had to figure out exactly what that noble thing would look like.

In the midst of Joseph's planning, God stepped in. He didn't just clarify what Joseph should do, He met the deepest yearning of his heart: God would be with him. Immanuel had come and Joseph would never again be alone. Not only that, but the Messiah had come and would save Joseph from his sins. The complete and final sacrifice for all of Joseph's noble efforts that never brought satisfaction, never fully cleansed.

That's the same Jesus who lives in me, who has made me new. The disappointment and dissatisfaction need no longer drive me to my self-centered ways to figure it out.

"The love in My love story now becomes plainly visible to all with eyes to see. My Son, the eternal God, Second Person in Our community of Three, comes to change everything, to make all things new, including your heart. He has taken charge. He's the King of the coming kingdom. His mission: to expose and destroy self-centeredness and to bring Our way of doing things in you and your world; to get heaven into you and to bring more of heaven into others by the way you relate." (66LL)

Father, the circumstances haven't changed and Your mission hasn't changed. By Your grace, I hope that I'm changing as You relentlessly pursue me through the ache of disappointment and dissatisfaction in all else but You.