"My nature, what comes naturally to me, is to live for the well-being of others at any cost to Myself. Your nature, what comes naturally to you, is to live for your own well-being at any cost to Me. My nature, the holy inclination to love, is now in you...Expect a battle." 66 LLYes, the battle is raging as I type this, and my nature is winning. I so desire for things to be different, for me to be different.
Everything that goes into a life of pleasing God has been miraculously given to us by getting to know, personally and intimately, the One who invited us to God...I'm trying to remember this, Lord. I'm inviting You back on the throne of my life. My flesh is so ugly, so insidious, and so present. In my own strength, I can't be the kind of person You're calling me to be. I'm too selfish and prideful, Lord.
So don't lose a minute in building on what you've been given, complementing your basic faith with good character, spiritual understanding, alert discipline, passionate patience, reverent wonder, warm friendliness, and generous love, each dimension fitting into and developing the others. (1:3, 5-6)
"I'm calling you to trust Me with your interests as My Son trusted Me with His...You cannot escape from the desire for your own happiness and well-being. And I don't want you to. But you can escape from the demand to arrange for your own happiness and well-being. You can do so by trusting Me with your life and devoting yourself to revealing My nature to others by how you relate." 66 LLMy heart's desire is to relate differently with challenging people, those with whom I have a complicated history or unresolved conflict. I guess it's no surprise that those are the very people we usually spend holidays with, huh? Just another opportunity to show me how to love others well, Lord, because I clearly haven't arrived!
"You now share my nature. You have within you the power necessary to resist every natural impulse that stands in the way of loving others as I love you. Neither fear, failure, nor temptation is stronger than the divine power available to you that can keep you walking the narrow road to life." 66 LLI'm believing You for that today. Lord, have mercy on me, a sinner.
3 comments:
"Expect a battle.". "Well," Sarah sighed, turning up the sarcasm, "thanks for that reminder Cici. And Eugene. And Paul. And Jesus."
I just journaled about my recent "bumps," painful interactions with people I love.
Well, they are people I'm supposed to love, but now that I've been bumped I don't really want to love them. Sounds childish doesn't it? Well, I'm selfish and childish and I want to live for my own reputation and well being, and i dont like being bumped.
I dont like people preaching at me, telling me what to do and not listening to my pain under all of my complaints. I dont like people criticizing me for doing Christmas shopping so late in December (its not Christmas yet, so am i really late??), and i dont like people talking to me as if im always the bad guy.
There. I said it. I'm thick in the battle as my nature wars against the Spirit. Even typing it out sounds childish, but I'm taking these bumps, these wounds and going over them in my head, pondering them (even more than I'm pondering the question from yesterday, Do I love others as if my life depended upon it?). These three bumps are beginning to take on a life of their own and I'm growing more grumpy!
"But you can escape from the demand to arrange for your own happiness and well-being. You can do so by trusting Me with your life and devoting yourself to revealing My nature to others by how you relate." 66 LL
Im just not sure how to do this today. Practically.
Here I am. I need to forgive and love deeply. I need Jesus' nature to flow through me. I need, I need!
Today's reading and post have been especially convicting and helpful. My bruised ego and wounded pride needed to hear these words.
Interesting how we are getting into the nuts and bolts of living out the Gospel at a time when many of us are spending time with the people who have the most history with us, the most ammunition. I love my family, but I sure can show them the worst in me! Help me Jesus!
Ha! I hear you, Sarah. Your comment popped up as I'm sitting in my room, annoyed and pouting, trying to remind myself of the truth and of what I wrote so recently. In the thick of battle, I've already forgotten. Sigh.
You guys are real encouraging to me. I mean that positive!
Was so looking forward to Christmas with my children and their families and one cancelled yesterday. My Christmas plans this week have yanked back and forth like a yo-yo and this mom thought they were solid. Now to move in love where I'm so hurt. And what does love look like? 1:16--not that wishing upon a star kind but 3:18 growing in grace and knowledge. I take things too personally that it's my fault that it turned out this way and I could have done better you fill in the blanks: raising kids, doing ministry. I'm the bad guy down south, Sarah. Always my fault.
But no more. I don't know "the way of escape" but it is His Energy that is alive (Col 1:29) in me and you. And I know that! That gives me some hope. So, I'm with you guys in a battle---it is the battle for our very souls. May I be bigger not better not bitter this Christmas. For the battle has been won---so where do I go with that? What am I missing and what do I want more than His Love this Christmas? Will I let this Christmas be about what's happening "in" me not "to" me? Rain down your Grace, O God! Would you please Grow Grace for what we all face?
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