December 22 - 1 Peter 1-5: He Knows

The acknowledgement of suffering by Peter in this book has long been a comfort to me.  Having experienced suffering at an early age, it became an expectation in my life that I didn't know how to hold.  When other kids were being kids, I concealed the pain and disappointment in my life with the masks of overachievement and of competence.  The depths of what was going on in my soul were not explored by anyone.  No one guided me through how to see God in the suffering and to receive His comfort.   So, when I came across Peter's letter in my teen years, it spoke into that void.

So if you find life difficult because you're doing what God said, take it in stride.  Trust him.  He knows what he's doing, and he'll keep on doing it.   (4:19)

Friends, when life gets really difficult, don't jump to the conclusion that God isn't on the job.  Instead, be glad that you are in the very thick of what Christ experienced.  This is a spiritual refining process, with glory just around the corner.   (4:12-13)

That was hope to my trouble spirit.  There was a good purpose and great company in my early experiences of sickness, death, aloneness, and inappropriate responsibilities for my age.   And I knew that my sufferings were nothing compared to Christ's, but still they were mine.  At times in my life, the effects of these have overwhelmed me and I've wanted to blame others for the burden of these memories.   Then God's words through Peter would step in,

This is the kind of life you've been invited into, the kind of life Christ lived.  He suffered everything that came his way so you would know that it could be done, and also know how to do it, step-by-step.  He never did one thing wrong, not once said anything amiss....

He suffered in silence, content to let God set things right.  He used his servant body to carry our sins to the Cross so we could be rid of sin, free to live the right way.  His wounds became your healing.  (2:21-24) 

In the process of pushing through my hurts, the allure of healing became large.  Healing from the constant, deep-down ache.  Relief from the thoughts and images.  Release from the overwhelming, emotional burdens I felt responsible for in others.  I went to counseling looking for this kind of healing, believing that this is what God meant when He wrote these verses.  Seeking this kind of freedom from the suffering caused even greater disappointment and ache.  Though Christ put me on the journey to find Him in the suffering, no counselor was able to fully enter in, no friend could really understand, my husband couldn't satisfy those deep longings.  I knew something was missing.  Usually feeling like I was too shattered inside to put back together and often feeling that it was the ineptness or lack of real care of others.  A seesaw of blame.

In the last few years, through a new season and a new kind of suffering, God is revealing more through Peter and his call to suffering,

"And I want you to understand the healing I provide through My Son's wounds....

"Coming home to Me is the first thing.  I will heal every obstacle to your finding your way home.  Listen to My words: 'by his wounds you have been healed.  For you were like sheep going astray, but now you have returned to the Shepherd and Overseer of your souls' (2:24-25).  I heal waywardness, not difficulties.  I make the journey possible, not easy....

"Understand that because My Son's wounds have healed you from everything that stands in the way of finding your way back home to Me, you can now expect that I will restore you, that I will mend your soul..." (66LL)

Thank You Father for Your relentless pursuit of me, when I run from You, when I want release from suffering, when I feel my own pain as larger than Yours.  I want to want the kind of healing You offer more than healing from difficulties.  I'm so grateful that You chose to endure suffering for me and You didn't run away from the pain that bought my freedom.