December 17 - TItus & Philemon: The Beauty of Grace

It's more than a little ironic that these two books are about relationships reflecting the beauty of the gospel. I feel very inadequate writing anything about beautiful relationships. It's been a rough week in that department.

"[Jesus] came the first time to reveal the beauty of grace, more specifically, the kind of relating that only My grace makes possible. Like so many others, your vision of how He has freed you to relate is too low...The beauty of grace frees you to reveal that same beauty - never perfectly but substantially - in the way you relate, especially to people who hurt, disappoint, betray, or assault you." 66 LL

My response to difficult relationships hasn't been healthy. I've wanted to avoid conflict, not deal with other people's sin, and settle into feel-better, less risky relationships. And at other times, I've wanted to blast the other person with every bit of venom that's coursing through my mind. It's not pretty. And this has all been with other believers...

I'm exhausted from biting my tongue, alternately stuffing down negative emotions and venting those same emotions to safe people, and feeling like such a hypocrite for not handling the stress better. Not much joy here, that's for sure. It's humbling, embarrassing (read: pride), and wearing me out.

Yet Paul tells us what these relationships should look like, what the experience of Christian community should be like:

Guide older women into lives of reverence so they end up as neither gossips nor drunks, but models of goodness. By looking to them, the younger women will know how to love their husbands and children, be virtuous and pure, keep a good house, be good wives. We don't want anyone looking down on God's Message because of their behavior. (Titus 2:3-5) 

No insults, no fights. God's people should be bighearted and courteous. (Titus 3:2) 

Stay away from mindless, pointless quarreling over genealogies and fine print in the law code. (Titus 3:8) 

Our people have to learn to be diligent in their work so that all necessities are met (especially among the needy) and they don't end up with nothing to show for their lives. (Titus 3:14) 

And I keep praying that this faith we hold in common keeps showing up in the good things we do, and that people recognize Christ in all of it. (Philemon 6)

Recently, I heard a pastor say that Christian community is the single most persuasive argument for the Christian faith - definitely a thought-provoking assertion. I've seen glimpses of that kind of community, but much of what I've experienced hasn't been all that compelling. A lot of times it's been disappointing, inauthentic, shallow, and it feels like a burden, not a joy.

"In My churches today, too many of my followers, by hiding their self-centered energy beneath a sociable veneer, see themselves as not nearly so bad as awful people like the Cretans. I never intended that My story be told to polish the veneer...[Paul] never intended for Titus to help the new converts in Crete to merely get along. Sociably pleasant Christianity is no Christianity at all. It aims too low. It fails to reveal the beauty of grace." 66 LL

I think God is using all of my relational sin to show me how much I fail to relate to others in love and how much I desperately need Him. In my flesh, I want to get my act together and to not struggle with difficult people and messy relational problems, but I don't see that being part of God's plan. I'm realizing that the relational struggles are part of the process that draws me closer to the Lord and molds me into the woman He designed me to be.

"I want you to know that every time you relate in love, every time you sacrifice self-interest for the sake of another, you are drawn deeper into the wonder of My story...I was wronged by you, and I have swallowed the injustice of your wrong into the ocean of My grace... Wronged people tell My story to those who wrong them only when they are overwhelmed by the story I tell to those who wrong Me and count themselves among the offenders." 66 LL

Lord, I want to be a revealer of the beauty of Your grace. Help me to see myself as the offender more often than I see myself as the offended, as I have this week. Overwhelm me with the reality of how much I've wronged You and all You've done for me in spite of it. Draw me deeper into Your story.

Thank You for the mercy You always show me, reminding me that You're not condemning me in my failure like I'm condemning myself. I'm amazed to think about the "ocean of grace" You have for those who count themselves among the offenders. I'm grateful for the picture of You "standing before me with holy arms of grace opened wide, inviting me to do what You know I most want to do and to do it as a free choice of love." 66 LL