Why does it all take me by surprise? After all, Jesus warned:
"Do you think I came to smooth things over and make everything nice? Not so, I've come to disrupt and confront!" (12:51)Ugh. Life is disrupted. I feel very confronted.
By my deep-seated sin patterns.
By life looking different that I expected.
By relational conflict.
By things not going my way.
By motherhood.
The disruption doesn't feel good, and my preferred coping mechanism has always been escape from uncomfortable feelings - by diving into a book, numbing myself with extended TV time, or keeping myself distracted with busyness.
But this time, God is leading me to Himself, asking me to process my jumbled emotions with Him.
What I'm trying to do here is get you to relax, not be so preoccupied with getting so you can respond to God's giving...Steep yourself in God-reality, God-initiative, God-provisions. You'll find all your everyday human concerns will be met. Don't be afraid of missing out. You're my dearest friends! The Father wants to give you the very kingdom itself. (12:29-32)Father, I'm afraid that circumstances are feeling truer than You are. I can't figure out my emotions right now, and I'm feeling the familiar urge to escape. I pray You'll help me turn from that false way of coping.
Thank You that Your Word is truth, that You call me Your friend. Thank You that I can bring all of my human concerns to You and You promise to meet them. I want to soak in Your reality, Your initiative, Your provision.
Lord, will You show me how to do that today?
2 comments:
Cici, isn't it interesting that 3 years after God led us to these very verses for a women's retreat theme that they're deeper, harder, and more real today? He's still calling us to His reality and to not miss Him!
I love you girls and what your write from your heart. I read 2 Tim 3 today and thought of you. All who desire to live for God will be persecuted. Really no way out OR He would have taken us home after we believed, if we were here just to experience Him. But it's so precious to me that Paul said that the LORD had rescued him from ALL his persecutions. I may be crazy saying this but in my heart this night, it seems to me that God has rescued me and still is rescuing me even more fully from all my persecutions, though they have been small in the scheme of life but looming large in my vision. And Paul ends that chapter 3 saying to continue in what we have learned and firmly believe and I know you all will. Yes you will! Love you from Louisiana!
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