Yahweh, you’re my last chance…I’ve had my fill of trouble; I’m camped on the edge of hell.I’m written off as a lost cause…abandoned…a black hole in oblivion.You’ve dropped me into a bottomless pit, sunk me in a pitch-black abyss.I’m battered senseless…I’m caught in a maze…blinded by tears of pain and frustration.
I call to you, Yahweh…why, Yahweh, do you turn a deaf ear…?
For as long as I remember I’ve been hurting… I’ve had it….
The only friend I have left is Darkness. (Psalm 88)
The end of this psalm reveals the depth of loneliness and abandonment that Heman felt. It’s the only psalm he wrote that we have in our Bible. It’s not here by accident, so why did God include this deep cry of affliction in His love letter to us?
“People who have come to know the joy of God do not deny the darkness, but they choose not to live in it. They claim that the light that shines in the darkness can be trusted more than the darkness itself and that a little bit of light can dispel a lot of darkness. They point each other to flashes of light here and there and remind each other that they reveal the hidden but real presence of God.” [Henri Nouwen, The Return of the Prodigal Son]
Over the past week, it has been a privilege to be with a group of people who are living this out. They know the joy of God but are not denying the darkness of the cultures they live in nor the darkness of the isolation they often feel nor the darkness of their own souls. They’re living in the Light that can be trusted in the midst of overwhelming darkness and lack of resolution.
3 comments:
Yes.
Love you Staci and as always am so thankful for the wisdom and comfort God shares from His heart with us through you. Blessings friend as He ministers to us and them through His Light in you. "Hey" to Eric and the kiddos too.
Wanted to share a thought I had after hearing something on Christian radio today. Dr. Jeremiah was saying Jesus teachings include far more about judgement than grace. My immediate thought however was of Jesus life of grace and compassion. Then I remembered the scripture that says Jesus was "full of grace and truth" - the embodiment of God Himself. "So how do these 2 truths jive?" I pondered. The idea quickly came to me that maybe Jesus lived grace in all He did but preached the truth of the coming judgement if the Father's grace is rejected. Then as I read your blog entry today I thought, "Jesus, the Light of the World, calls us to live as He did, to allow His Light to dwell in and minister through us in word and deed. Are we then to live grace in every way but to be so bold as to teach about the coming judgement for those who reject God's grace?" Ahhh, so than my fearful and faint heart says, "Lord, I so desperately need the boldness of Your Son through the power of your Holy Spirit to live grace to the extreme no matter what my own circumstances and therefore win the trust of others who might have ears then to hear of God's great Love for them and the certain destiny that is theirs if they choose not to trust and follow Him. Let it be so, Lord. That's my prayer today."
Beautiful Nouwen quote! Psalm 88:6 came alive to me when I visited Jerusalem a few months ago. "You have put me in the depths of the pit,
in the regions dark and deep." In Caiphas' House, where Jesus was brought before the high priests to determine his fate, the story unfolds that they lowered Jesus through a hole into a pit for holding. As I visited the house and witnessed the ghastly hole ... then walked into the cold, dark pit on the bottom floor, I was aghast! I had never heard this story before. This verse is emblazoned on the doorway into the Sacred Pit. He spent the night on that floor in the depth of the pit, abandoned by his friends, but with all of us in his heart. I can never read these verses without thinking how much we all were shaken in what we witnessed of this holding room. Gracing the front door to the high priest home is a statue of Peter denying Christ and the inscription reads: "He Was Not My Friend."
Oh my gosh, Bev! I've never heard about Jesus being put in a pit in Caiaphas' house. That's horrifying! I'm claustrophobic so that's about as bad as I can imagine. That makes Psalm 88:6 come alive for me as well.
Another vivid reminder of the things that Christ endured for my sake.
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