Jacob the deceiver has been deceived by Laban more than once. Laban's jealous sons then talked behind Jacob's back and Laban "wasn't treating him the same." (31:2) Deception. Betrayal. Lying. Jacob has dished it out and received it. "But Jacob is about to become a new man. He has been set up by the shrewdest player of all: God." (Leading with a Limp, Allender)
Jacob notices that his father-in-law has changed toward him, but also notes that "the God of my father hasn't changed: he's still with me." (31:5) Somehow, Jacob understands that in spite of his own wrongdoing and that done against him, God is still God and still with him. How different Jacob's story might have turned out if he had entered into self-absorption instead of entering into the fear of the God of his father Isaac (31:53).
"Betrayal is certain: what is uncertain is how we will embrace betrayal and use it for the growth of character." (Leading with a Limp, Allender) Like Jacob, we all experience betrayal to some degree or another. What is our response: Become more task-driven and ambitious to live in the illusion that I can prevent betrayal from happening again? Or become an introverted perfectionist, emotionally detached so that no one can disappoint me again?
Jacob chose neither of these. He chose the God who doesn't change, who is always Truth, Light, Hope, and Redemption. He gave up control and God transformed him.
Every day is a choice for me to give up the illusion of control to protect myself from more betrayal. In the transforming power of Christ, I can choose to love in vulnerable ways; to risk involvement with others; to rest in the arms of God's love; to be unnerved by His kindness; to surrender in gratitude that God has called someone like me to Himself.
4 comments:
Betrayal is a powerful thing, a powerful character-shaper. Thank you, Staci, for that reminder. How timely is this for me!
When I feel hurt, my gut reaction is to protect myself by lashing out in anger. But anger always covers fear and hurt.
Last night I had a choice: stay angry (and protected) or admit fear and hurt (and vulnerability) after feeling betrayed and abandoned. God sees the future I fear, and the wounds that reopened. But others can only see the anger used as insulation (like a porcupine!). God invites me to lay down my weapons of self-protection allowing HIM be my protector. Tasks and isolation (my favorite coping mechanisms) don't heal wounded hearts, but the tender mercies of The God Who Sees Me do.
Oh Lord, keep my heart humble and tender before You and others! May i risk vulnerability, fleeing pride and self protection. Be the God Who Fights For Me, and may I be the Woman Who Rests In Thee.
Oh, this one hits a little close to home! Recent betrayals still hurt, and the urge to protect myself is strong. This is a great reminder of what God's trying to do in me through my hurts and disappointments.
30:22 also struck me in this reading: "And then God remembered Rachel." I love that. "He listened to her." She was dealing with the pain of being unable to have children although her sister was popping them out for Jacob.
I got married in my mid-30s and had children in my late-30s, so I feel for Rachel. I can imagine that Rachel felt like God had forgotten about her. I wondered that at times too.
I guess it's just human nature to want what we don't have, huh? Jacob loved Rachel, but he didn't love Leah. Leah had all the babies, but Leah did it hoping it would make Jacob love her.
But regardless of my circumstances then or now, I know that we are never out of God's thoughts. He's the God-Who-Sees-Me and the God-Who-Sees-to-It.
Lord, I pray that I will be so focused on You that I will be content with whatever You have for me. Your ways truly are the best, although I don't always understand how you work. May I not want what I don't have or become jealous or prideful because of Your blessings for others and for me.
Beautiful last paragraph Staci. Gen 31:12 "I see all that Laban did to you. I am the God of Bethel where you made your vow." God sees. God knows our story. Dealing with betrayal of family & friends. God is helping me to see a little more clearly what's wrong in me more than what is wrong in those closest to me or what is wrong in the churches I am familiar with. Little by Little. Seeing the evil in my own heart. A Good God helping me to see a tiny bit more how long, wide, deep, high is His LOVE for me. Eph 3:17. I have a long way to go. It's His Kindness that is leading me to repent. Romans 2:4.
When I read this part of the story about Jacob and all that he went through with Laban, the sinful part of me says, "Serves him right. He DESERVES this after all he did to Esau."
But then, I think, couldn't anyone say the same of me, if bad things started happening to me...couldn't they say, "Serves her right!" because of my own sinful screw-ups, because of the way that I've betrayed, deceived, acted selfishly and independet of God?
Oh goodness...how quick, even as I read God's word, am I to judge others and say "serves them right" when I am RIGHT THERE, deserving that very same condemnation.
God, I am SO humbled to realize that YOU have been betrayed by us in so many ways, so often, and yet you LOVE us, you are THERE for us, you SEE us and PROVIDE and BLESS us. Thank you for reminding me that I am just like Jacob!!!
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