"You're in a good place. I know you're frustrated. I know you fail. I know you struggle with doubt. But you're still turning to me in faith. You're still serving me in love. And you're still waiting in hope for My Son to return." 66 LL
Quite honestly, this doesn't feel like a good place. Failures and frustrations abound. I have countless "opportunities for growth" as God leads me on the long, painful journey to freedom.
I'm sinning all over the place as God is asking me to go where I really don't want to go and to feel what I really don't want to feel. While my old patterns of relating clearly weren't working, at least they had become somewhat predictable and comfortable. The place I am now is just plain hard, and very uncomfortable.
Yet Paul's exhortations to the Thessalonians remind me that this pruning has long-term ramifications. It's not just for a more pleasant experience for the next 40 or so years. I will spend eternity with the Lord, and He knows the character I need for what He has planned for me. This is important work He's doing in me.
"For Christians, [the Second Coming of Jesus] is the most important thing to know and believe about the future. The practical effect of this belief is to charge each moment of the present with hope. For if the future is dominated by the coming again of Jesus, there is little room left on the screen for projecting our anxieties and fantasies. It takes the clutter out of our lives. We're far more free to respond spontaneously to the freedom of God." Eugene Peterson, Introduction to 1 & 2 Thessalonians
The longer I walk with Christ, the more of me He dismantles. Thankfully, I'm coming to see how much I need this pruning by my loving Father. While it's emotionally exhausting and leaves plenty of opportunity to be misunderstood, I know ultimately that I'm in a good place, the right place for me now. The clutter had become overwhelming, and I desperately want to be free from the bondage of my anger.
One final word, friends. We ask you - urge you is more like it - that you keep on doing what we told you to do to please God, not in a dogged religious plod, but in a living, spirited dance. (4:1-2)Lord, my heart is to please You. I love You, and I need You, and I'm overwhelmed by your grace toward me. I see how wrong my checking-off-boxes-to-please-God mentality has been. Thank You for what You're revealing to me, and for the gift of tears. I pray that You'll continue to show me how to dance. As You know, I really need some lessons because it doesn't come naturally.
1 comment:
I wonder as I read this what you are really asking.
There is Something very beautiful that stirs in your heart.
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