He said, "Why were you looking for me? Didn't you know that I had to be here, dealing with the things of my Father?" (2:49)
Given our current circumstances, Jesus' reply stood out to me. We are still waiting for news on the adoption. I have no clue when we'll receive anything definitive, so the ambiguity continues.
In this story, Jesus is twelve years old, and even at this tender age, He's focused on His Father's business. I can't say that's the case for me. I get distracted by circumstances and caught up in my own sin.
"Do I look at my life as being in my Father's House? Is the Son of God living in His Father's House within me?
"The only abiding reality is God Himself, and His order comes to me moment by moment. Am I continually in touch with the reality of God, or do I pray only when things have gone wrong - when there is some disturbance in my life? I must learn to identify myself closely with my Lord in ways of holy fellowship and oneness that some of us have not yet even begun to learn. "...I must be about My Father's business" - and I must learn to live every moment of my life in my Father's house.
"Think about your own circumstances. Are you so closely identified with the Lord's life that you are simply a child of God, continually talking to Him and realizing that everything comes from His hands?...Is the grace of His ministering life being worked out through you in your home, your business, and in your circle of friends?...You must allow Him to have His way with you, staying in perfect oneness with Him." Oswald Chambers, My Utmost for His Highest
I guess it's no surprise that Jesus has been very real to me these past few days as things have seemed to go wrong with the adoption. I'm praying a lot more because I'm free of the illusion of control in this situation. I am very aware that every little detail is in the Lord's hands.
At the same time, I'm realizing how much I don't live the rest of my life this way. Throughout my day, and often without even noticing, I slip into my own little world, oblivious to God. I haven't been living every moment in my Father's house.
Regardless of the outcome on this adoption, my hope is that I will increasingly allow Jesus to have His way with me. I'm grateful for what these circumstances are revealing about my true spiritual condition, not allowing me to remain ignorant any longer.
Father, I want to live in Your house. I want to stay in perfect oneness with You. I pray that I will continually yield to Your Holy Spirit, allowing You to live through me moment by moment. May You have Your way with me.
3 comments:
Oswald Chambers' words about what it actually means to live "in my Father's house" are helpful. Great insight, Cici, about simply living like a child of God, in dependence and in oneness.
My youngest is home sick today and her presence is a reminder of what it looks like to live in the presence of a parent. She's dependent on me to take care of her needs and she can sometimes communicate what those are and sometimes she can't. It's her presence with me here at home that makes it possible for me to intimately care for her.
In my sin-sickness, I need Jesus to care for me in the same way.
Great thoughts, Cici. Similarly, I have been convicted lately of going to God only when I need something.
I'm still reading "Crazy Love" by Francis Chan and just finished the chapter on "Being in Love." He talks about how when we're in love with someone, we just enjoy being in their presence, doing nothing, not worried about time or tasks or other demands. We just enjoy being with them, getting to know them, spending time with them.
That thought convicted me on two fronts: do I do that with my husband and do I do that with the Lord?
With my husband, we just had a lovely get-away weekend together without kids. But there was one part of the trip when I almost started an unnecessary fight. We decided to walk to the restaurant instead of drive, knowing ahead of time it would be a fairly long walk, but decided to enjoy being together and talking. My expectation going into the walk was that it would be a scenic view along the Riverwalk (San Antonio). His expecation was that we would take the most efficient, shortest route, which happened to be through an ugly, industrial part of town with lots of construction, graffiti-covered buildings and high fences. I found myself growing annoyed with his plan and criticizing the not so romantic scene and my unmet expecations of having a beautiful river to accompany us...but then the Lord convicted me. Wasn't the very purpose of this trip just to BE together, to enjoy one another, to spend time together? If so, it shouldn't matter WHERE we were, what we were doing, or what the atmosphere looked like. And I remembered - I want to enjoy just spending time with him and enjoying him. So I was willing to laugh off the not-so-romantic walk and enjoy the extra time with him (we did, however, choose the riverwalk path on the way back! ha!).
The same goes for my relationship with God - I often come to him with expectations of what our time should look like, what I am going to get out of it, what I want from him...when I have been convicted lately, that if I am truly in love with Jesus, I need to just BE with Him, spend time with Him, enjoy Him, without focusing on MY needs, but treasure Him for who He is because I love Him more than anyone or anything else in the world.
Sorry for the long post...more thoughts kept coming as I started writing! ha!
Such good reminders :)
I also am encouraged when Jesus submitted to his parents. He was all about His fathers business but also submitted to his parents. A lot of my friends here find it hard to find the right place to be in following God and honoring parents. But Jesus finds a way to do both with devotion. Even when Mary didn't understand but just treasured it in her heart. As I witness to my parents and as my friends to their parents, I think about how our sold out living out our love and devotion to God and proclaiming His name is the best way to share that He is worth living for- that He is our life. And how in someways, I know that my parents and my friends parents are treasuring these things in their hearts too, hopefully getting to know God & His plan more and more.
Today, I want to be in my Father's house. And just be there all day long, everywhere I go, doing my Father's business :)
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