February 6 - Matthew 26: Rabbi or Lord?

I'm intrigued that the dinner in Bethany seems to be when Judas finally decided to betray Jesus to the high priests. He must have been one of the disciples who was furious when the woman 'wasted' the bottle of expensive perfume to anoint Jesus for burial. (26:9)

But why would that have made Judas so angry and willing to turn on Jesus? Was there a series of events before Bethany that caused Judas to become disillusioned with Jesus, or was he never really convinced in the first place? I don't know.

But there appears to be a clue to this mystery during the Passover meal in how the disciples responded to Jesus' statement about His betrayal:

During the meal, [Jesus] said, "I have something hard but important to say to you: One of you is going to hand me over to the conspirators." 

They were stunned, and then began to ask, one after another, "It isn't me, is it, Master?" [specifically "Lord" in ESV]... 

Then Judas, already turned traitor, said, "It isn't me, is it, Rabbi?" (26:20-25)

Clearly, there was a big difference in how Judas and the other disciples viewed Jesus. Eleven of them called Him "Lord." Without understanding the full story, they still recognized Him as God with divine power and authority. But Judas used a Jewish title of respect meaning 'teacher' and seemed to view Jesus as only a man with authority over the teaching of the Law.

Judas had God in the flesh right in front of him for years and didn't recognize it. His hard heart ultimately led him to betray Jesus to the high priests, and in that act, Judas became an infamous piece of the puzzle in God's story of redemption.

I can't stop thinking about this story. I like to think that I'm aware of what's going on in my heart and my mind, but I don't think that's always the case. It has me thinking about how I actually experience Jesus in my daily life.

Is He just my rabbi, the one who teaches me a better way to live and to do the right things? Does He have some great ideas and suggestions for me, that I can obey if and when I feel like it? Can I just tune Him out whenever His teaching sounds harsh or illogical or 'doesn't work for me'?

Or is He truly my Lord and Master, my Creator and Determiner of Purpose? Is He the One with ultimate authority in my life, whose commands and leadings I obey whether they make sense or not, whether they feel good or not, and whether they enhance my daily life or not? Is He the One who empowers me to walk with Him daily? Is He the One whose counsel I seek first, whose power and goodness I have supreme confidence in, and whose sacrifice on the cross I humbly receive as my best gift ever?

I'm not 100% sure of my answer. I can't tie this up in a nice little bow. My knee-jerk is to say, "Of course He's my Lord! Duh." but that's not always how I live out my faith. Hmmm, lots for me to think about today.