Mark gives me a picture of the sheer determination of Jesus and the confidence in His Father that it took to face what He knew was coming.
He plunged into a sinkhole of dreadful agony. He told [Peter, James and John], "I feel bad enough right now to die...Going a little ahead, he fell to the ground and prayed for a way out: "Papa, Father, you can - can't you? - get me out of this. Take this cup away from me. But please, not what I want - what do you want?" (14:33-36)If there had been the slightest bit of self-reliance - or common sense - He would have appeased the crowd, lightened up His message, and avoided the cross.
But Jesus' radical obedience in the face of unparalleled suffering proved both His worth and the Father's love for us. Jesus even affirmed to the Chief Priest that He was the Messiah, the Son of the Blessed (14:61), knowing He would be condemned to death. He sugarcoated nothing, all the while willingly accepting His treatment and fate. Unbelievable.
Unfortunately, I relate to the disciples in Gethsemane who couldn't seem to stay awake and pray for Jesus in His hour of greatest need far more than I relate to my perfect, self-sacrificing Savior. Ugh.
Scripture says the disciples had no plausible excuse. Neither do I. I know Jesus, yet I continue to struggle against my sinful desires and actions - impatience, irritation, judgment, and selfishly wanting things my way, to name a paltry few - and it seems to be a losing battle.
On a fundamental level, I must be missing something. But the Spirit has been using Larry Crabb's words to help me put my finger on the root of some of my sin. I think I have a vision problem.
"Because of My Son, no failure of yours can block My plan for your life. But you must see My Son so clearly, so up close and personally, that you realize He is worthy of your losing everything you value in life in order to know Him, to serve Him. The more clearly you see Christ, the more willing you will be to suffer any loss for His sake." 66 LLLord, I ask You to open my spiritual eyes so I can see You more clearly. I want my life to be a reflection of You more than I want it to be a source of satisfaction to me. I pray that You will mold my character, values, priorities, attitudes, and desires so they are aligned with Yours. May I truly value You more than anything else in life because You alone are worthy.
2 comments:
Amen. He is worthy. Your prayer is my current prayer too. Thanks for expressing it even better than I could right now. And being bold to pray it!
Yes, all the things I once thought were so important are gone from my life. Compared to the high privilege of knowing Christ Jesus as my Master, firsthand, everything I once thought I had going for me is insignificant—dog dung. I've dumped it all in the trash so that I could embrace Christ and be embraced by him. I didn't want some petty, inferior brand of righteousness that comes from keeping a list of rules when I could get the robust kind that comes from trusting Christ—God's righteousness. Phil 3:8-9 msg
Something hit me as I was watching Jesus' response to his sleeping disciples on a children's movie. I could hear the empathy in Jesus' voice as He said that the spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak. Jesus was fully man for a season; therefore, He understands this battle that rages inside us with the desires to stay alert, stay focused, but that our stupid eyes just won't stay open. He has mercy on my weak flesh, thank God!
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