Then Jesus made it clear to his disciples that it was now necessary for him to go to Jerusalem, submit to an ordeal of suffering at the hands of the religious leaders, be killed, and then on the third day be raise up alive. Peter took him in hand, protesting, "Impossible, Master! That can never be!"
But Jesus didn't swerve. "Peter, get out of my way. Satan, get lost. You have no idea how God works." (16:21-23)
Although he recognized Jesus as the Christ, the Messiah, the Son of the living God (16:16), Peter had a lot to learn - about the God's plan for redemption, about God's heart for the lost, about suffering for the sake of the gospel. Peter had his own expectations of what the Messiah would do for him and for Israel, and dying wasn't part of it.
Oh, how I can relate! Jesus often works in unexpected ways in my life, ways that result in confusion, disappointment, and/or anger. Nothing seems to go the way I expect, the way I think it should.
Doesn't it make complete sense that we should have our little girl from Rwanda by now? And shouldn't I have a healthy relationship with my believing sister? And shouldn't there be forgiveness, reconciliation, and hope in a broken relationship with certain other believers? I mean, wouldn't each of things give God glory? Seriously, how can broken relationships and children without families be God-honoring??
Just as Peter thought He knew the plan and had a better way, I think I know how God works, and I make demands and place expectations on God, when in fact, I mostly choose the way that minimizes my suffering, that's easiest on me. Like Peter, I have a lot to learn - about God's ways, about suffering like Jesus, about God's redemptive plan for this world and for me.
Though he was God's Son, he learned trusting-obedience by what he suffered, just as we do. (Hebrews 5:8)
This verse in Hebrews has haunted me for years. So much of the Christian life continues to be a paradox to me. In my finite mind, I want to make sense of it all. I want to understand how God works and why these relationships are still broken, why Molly isn't home yet, why suffering has to be part of the sanctification process.
I don't have satisfying answers, and I likely never will. Instead, Jesus encourages me to fix my eyes on Him, the author and perfecter of my faith (Hebrews 12:2), and to take His words to heart:
Anyone who intends to come with me has to let me lead. You're not in the driver's seat; I am. Don't run from suffering; embrace it. Follow me and I'll show you how. (16:24-25)
Lord, I acknowledge Your right to be in the driver's seat of my life. Thank You for forgiving my arrogance and pride, for thinking I know better than You how my life should go. Turn my heart from self-pity and self-reliance, and teach me to value You above every other thing. May I not be afraid of, or shrink back from, suffering that's part of Your will for me. Father, my heart's desire is to follow You wholeheartedly and with trusting obedience in every circumstance. I ask You to show me how.
1 comment:
Thanks for this devotional this morning Cici. I stumbled over the same sections and spent a good chunk of time journaling about how I "still have no idea how God works."
I want life to look a certain way: family, ministry, friendships, connections, diversions, habits.... Each one of those words is loaded.
But walking with God isnt as i imagine, nor is His kingdom. Neither are designed to coddle my longing for comfort.
Lord forgive me. Yet again I've put "me" and "my" at the center: my desires, my understanding, my reasoning, my great visions of what could be (if only You'd bring them to be! ). But I surrender again to you. I surrender to your good ways, your generosity, your mercy, your forgiveness, your sovereignty, your leadership, your Lordship.
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