December 29 - Revelation 13-16: Picturing Reality

On the heels of a relationally-difficult Christmas with extended family, Larry Crabb's words ring true to my ears:

"If you see the distance between how My Son loves and how you love, you will know that His kingdom has more work to do. More salt must be poured on your wounds before you can do a good and loving job of pouring salt on others. You will not sing until you shudder. You will not stand strong in My holy Presence till, like John, you fall helpless before My Son. You will not live in My Spirit until you die to your flesh." 66 LL

Boy, do I see the distance! I've been experiencing it over the past week. My flesh is alive and well, as my family got to see in living color. Jesus has so much more work to do in me.

I've been having $500 responses to $5 problems - total emotional over-reactions to perceived slights or criticisms, and to my own failures. The battle is very real, and it's been exhausting. I've been ashamed of my behavior, even in the midst of the behavior itself, thinking, "What in the world is wrong with me?!?" Ugh.

This is the very real backdrop to my daily reading in Revelation. As I'm engulfed in my own emotional turmoil, it's very strange to be reading about a dragon, beasts, an angel wielding a sickle, and seven bowls of God's wrath. Honestly, it all feels a little Harry Potter-ish to me. But the fantastic, apocalyptic nature of this book makes my mind work in different ways than I'm used to; it makes me wrestle with truth on a different level:

"I want you to do more than understand My story. I want you to be caught up in it, My truth taken up into your life. Describing reality either through clear narrative or direct teaching, what I have done mostly in My letters so far, reaches the mind with true truth. And that is needed, but it risks leaving you with a mere grasp of facts properly expressed in a statement of doctrine. Picturing reality in graphic images penetrates through, not around, your mind and into your imagination where true facts become living truth, experienced doctrine. Only then will My truth be taken up into your life. 

My final letter has the power to stir your depths as they have not yet been stirred. John saw reality...My Son is bringing His kingdom of a new way to relate into this self-obsessed world. Only when you are gripped by what is happening in the invisible world will you live well in the visible world." 66 LL

As I attempt to grasp the end of His story, I'm overwhelmed by the horrors and judgment to come. It makes me all the more grateful for the gospel, for Jesus' atoning death on the cross for me. My salvation and security, thankfully, aren't based on my behavior or performance, praise God. Even as I wrestle with my miserable failure this week, I know that I am the Lord's and He is mine. Nothing is impossible for Him.

Throughout these difficult chapters, God continues to remind me of that truth:

Meanwhile, God's holy people passionately and faithfully stand their ground. (13:10) 

I saw - it took my breath away! - the Lamb standing on Mount Zion, 144,000 standing there with him, his Name and the Name of his Father inscribed on their foreheads... A perfect offering. (14:1, 5) 

Meanwhile, the saints stand passionately patient, keeping God's commands, staying faithful to Jesus. I heard a voice out of heaven, "Write this: Blessed are those who die in the Master from now on; how blessed to die that way!" "Yes," says the Spirit, "and blessed rest from their hard, hard work. None of what they've done is wasted; God blesses them for it all in the end." (14:12-13) 

[T]he saved ones stood on the sea of glass. They sand the Song of Moses, servant of God; they sang the Song of the Lamb (15:3)

Lord, in the midst of these confusing and challenging times, I pray You'll give me Your power to passionately and faithfully stand my ground in the battle. I know I'm helpless. Give me the desire to repent of my sins and to constantly turn to You in worship. May You do a mighty work in me, that I may die to my flesh more and more each day.