October 9 - Matthew 18-19: Holding On Tight To A Lot of Things

Jesus told the rich young man, who thought he'd done every good thing, to sell his possessions and follow Him.

This was the last thing the young man expected to hear. And so, crestfallen, he walked away. He was holding on tight to a lot of things, and he couldn't bear to let it go. (19:22)

Then Jesus spoke to his disciples, telling them how hard it is for the rich to enter God's kingdom.

The disciples were staggered. "Then who has any chance at all?"

Jesus looked hard at them and said, "No chance at all if you think you can pull it off yourself. Every chance in the world if you trust God to do it." (19:25-26)

It makes me think about what I'm holding on to, what I can't bear to let go for Jesus.

In the past 24 hours, it's been selfishness and my comfort. I've been annoyed with my children because I've just wanted to sit on the couch and watch a baseball game and a football game with no interruptions and no demands being made of me. (Yes, really.)

My two- and three-year-olds clearly don't understand this made-up rule of Mommy's and have repeatedly bothered me at inconvenient times. I've gotten irritated and short with them far too many times.

Sigh.

The result has been that, for most of the day, I've been living in a tug-of-war between guilt and my stubborn selfishness because, you see, I still want what I want. Even thought I know better, my selfish desires still creep to the top of my priority list.

There's been a whole lot of Cici and not much God in my attitude and actions. It's been a "me first" kind of day. I can see that, with every decision, I've been walking away from Jesus and holding on tightly to my own preferences.

Once again, the Scriptures are convicting and corrective, laying me bare before the Lord. God's Word reminds me that I have no chance in this world unless I trust God to live His life through me. I can't pull it off on my own, no matter how hard I try. My flesh is too persistent, too wily, knowing my weak spots and temptations.

"God, since the devil's power has been stripped and since I have been born again out of this world's kingdom into heaven's, that means the real battle now is within me, between my own urge to grasp after whatever seems necessary and the desire to give, to love others like Jesus does - a desire Your Spirit has put in me. That gives a whole new meaning to spiritual warfare. I must still resist the devil and not conform myself to this world, but the real battle is going on in me, between my flesh and spirit. I want to win that battle." 66 LL

I failed to acknowledge the spiritual battle today - a big mistake. As I repent of my sin and ask Christ to take the throne of my life again, Jesus reminds me what's in store if I take to heart His words and trust Him moment-by-moment:

You who have followed me will also rule, starting with the twelve tribes of Israel. And not only you, but anyone who sacrifices home, family, fields - whatever - because of me will get it all back a hundred times over, not to mention the considerable bonus of eternal life. This is the Great Reversal: many of the first ending up last, and the last first. (19:29-30)

What else am I holding onto today, refusing to let go for Jesus?