Jesus was matter-of-fact: "Embrace this God-life. Really embrace it, and nothing will be too much for you." (11:22)
I had a mixed reaction to this statement.
Part of me gets excited about the adventure of it all, and I start dreaming about what embracing a God-life would look like and feel like. How would my relationship with the Lord be different? How would I be different? Would I feel different?? How would my priorities change? How would my other relationships change? I can't even imagine. And the idea that nothing would be too much for me?? Incredible.
And then the rational, practical (and obviously, ungodly) part of me is like, "Yeah, right. Then absolutely nothing would turn out my way." Honestly, a lot of life seems like too much for me these days, even though I'm walking with the Lord.
My lack of faith and my desire to control circumstances keep rearing up and hijacking the part of me that truly desires to be full-of-faith. On the more challenging days, I fantasize about going back to my former ways, especially being oblivious to my own stuff. I remember it feeling a lot easier when I just ignored stuff. (Yes, the reality is that all my sin eventually caught up with me...)
Without daily refocusing on the eternal through the Scriptures, all of my current challenges - waiting on Molly, parenting a two-year-old and a three-year-old, large and small decisions, wrestling with my identity in this new phase of life, confronting my sin patterns - seem overwhelming. God has so much to do to transform my heart and my mind.
"Your spirit of entitlement to the blessings of life dies hard." 66 LL
Ugh. How true.
It felt a little easier to hear these words from Mark once I understood more of his own story. Mark isn't very different from me, yet the Lord eventually transformed him into someone who followed Him whole-heartedly and ultimately penned one of only four biographies of Jesus:
"Like you, Mark was used to comfort. Raised in a large home where My followers were always welcomed by Mark's mother, Mary, he - again like you - mixed personal comfort with spiritual reality...When [Mark] was later invited to join Barnabas and Paul on their first mission trip, Mark (sometimes called John) was eager to serve. But he was not yet prepared to put his comfort into second place and give first place to kingdom service...He was beginning to see clearly that the excitement of ministry including conflict and hardship and danger. Before Paul and Barnabas began preaching in Perga, Mark sailed back to Jerusalem to his comfortable life and pleasant home. (Acts 13:1-13)
You are right now where Mark was, feeling the squeeze of the narrow road I have called you to walk...No one who refuses to press on through the battle between looking out for oneself and service for Me, between comfort and suffering, is much use to My purposes." 66 LL
I am feeling the pull between the wide, easy (and worldly) path and the narrow road of Jesus. The natural thing is to look out for myself and to make my life work. (Just sail home to a comfortable home and pleasant life? Yes, please!)
That's why I appreciate the direction Jesus gives on the heels of telling me to embrace the God-life. He shows me how to press on in the battle.
That's why I urge you to pray for absolutely everything, ranging from small to large. Include everything as you embrace this God-life, and you'll get God's everything. And when you assume the posture of prayer, remember that it's not all asking. If you have anything against someone, forgive - only then will your heavenly Father be inclined to also wipe your slate clean of sins. (11:23-25)
Lord, help me. Left to myself, I see the solution as making life more manageable, not following You wherever You may lead me. But You tell me that the solution is to pray for absolutely everything and to forgive others. Oh my. I have so much to learn from You. I pray You'll show me how to truly embrace this God-life and live whole-heartedly for You.
"Your battle continues. Mark finished well. You can too. Keep reading." 66 LL
2 comments:
Thanks Cici for your thoughts! I don't always get on here to read but am always blessed when I do.
When I was journaling about this passage, I saw a connection to the passage where Jesus wants the children to hang out with him. I picture him romping around with them and belly laughing. Not very respectable of a 'rabbi'. I do miss that simplicity of 'child-like' faith. The innocence, joy, trust, untouched by cynicism. I spent some time picturing myself being 'gathered into His arms with his hands of blessing' on me. Perhaps this is one of the keys to embracing this 'God-Life'.
God bless in all you have going on! Enjoy those sweet children. So great to be on a journey with others who are seeking to embrace all that God has for us...even when we don't understand it.
Amen. so blessed by this weeks blogs! (or all of them every day really)
But being in Mark makes me see the Gospel in a new light. See Jesus' life in a new light. I think because its not just another retelling of the story, its a person I now know more about who also struggles with comfort vs suffering on the narrow road and embracing and enjoying. This is me right now. Because I almost LITERALLY want to sail back home to comfort.
Through scripture and the holy spirit and these blogs, I don't know how I can not see God telling me clearly to not sail home. Ha. To stay where I am on the suffering hard narrow road and embrace this life. It's so clear. And its changing my attitude that I thought just couldn't be changed. Little by little. And I am encouraged. So encouraged. Along with Mark, I want to finish well. I want to embrace well. Struggle well. And be filled with the Lord's JOY and LOVE and PEACE!!!
Really enjoying being in Mark. Thankful. Thank You Jesus. You are really Lord, powerful almighty Lord.
Create in me a clean heart, O God. Renew a loyal spirit within me. Ps 51:10
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