June 9 - Job 29-31: What Does God Owe Me?

In the midst of his suffering, Job is asking questions that I have as well:

So what can I expect from God? What do I deserve from God Almighty above?...Isn't God looking, observing how I live? Doesn't he mark every step I take? (31:2, 4)

What does God "owe me?"

Unlike Job, I haven't lived a God-honoring life. I didn't come to Christ until I was 27 and was stuck in major sin patterns until at least age 30. Since then, it's been a process of shedding the more obvious sin in my life and of allowing God to deal with my deeper, more hidden sin - things like pride, arrogance, self-centeredness, and judgment.

But I can tell from my reactions when things go wrong - or at least, not my way - that I do feel God owes me, that I deserve for things to go according to my plan.

Job's questions in these chapters are causing me to examine my attitudes and my actions in a fresh way. Yes, my life has changed as I've walked with God; I'm no longer the unrepentant sinner I used to be. But who am I, really, and what is God observing in my life?

• Have I walked hand in hand with falsehood, or hung out in the company of deceit? (31:5)
• Have I let myself be seduced by a [man] and conspired to go to bed with [him]? (31:9)
• Have I ever been unfair to my employees when they brought a complaint to me? (31:13)
• Have I ignored the needs of the poor, turned my back on the indigent? (31:16)
• Have I ever used my strength and influence to take advantage of the unfortunate? (31:21)
• Have I set my heart on making big money or worshiped at the bank? (31:24)
• Have I crowed over my enemy's ruin? Or gloated over my rival's bad luck? (31:29)

These are hard questions because they get to what's going on in my heart. Job's bottom line answer to these questions is:

The fear of God has kept me from these things - how else could I ever face him?...Anyone's welcome to read my defense; I'll write it on a poster and carry it around town. I'm prepared to account for every move I've ever made - to anyone and everyone, prince or pauper.  (31:23,36-37)

As for me, I'm defenseless. I haven't always feared God. I'm guilty on many of these questions. So what exactly does God "owe" me?

His wrath. Hell. An eternity separated from Him.

But happily, you and I both know that isn't the end of His Story. Our loving, powerful, just, gracious, and holy God has the last glorious word.

Is there no one who can do anything for me? Isn't that the real question? The answer, thank God, is that Jesus Christ can and does. He acted to set things right in this life of contradictions where I want to serve God with all my heart and mind, but am pulled by the influence of sin to do something totally different.

With the arrival of Jesus, the Messiah, that fateful dilemma is resolved. Those who enter into Christ's being-here-for-us o longer have to live under a continuous, low-lying black cloud. A new power is in operation. The Spirit of life in Christ, like a strong wind, has magnificently cleared the air, freeing you from a fated lifetime of brutal tyranny at the hands of sin and death.  Romans 7:24-8:2 (Msg)

By his wounds, you have been healed.  1 Peter 2:24 (ESV)

Appropriately, this hymn has been on my mind for weeks now:

"Jesus paid it all,

All to Him I owe;

Sin had left a crimson stain,

He washed it white as snow."

 This is what I can expect from my Heavenly Father. Hallelujah!