"David didn't start out in the wilderness, and he didn't end up in the wilderness. But he did spend a significant amount of time there, mostly holed up in caves. Everybody - at least everybody who has anything to do with God - spends time in the wilderness hiding in caves, so it's important to know what can take place there." Eugene Peterson, Conversations, pg. 427David is the man God has chosen to be the next king of Israel, yet he is chased into the wilderness by men who want to kill him. Out of jealousy, King Saul is intent on murdering David. And God allows this situation to happen! The good guy doesn't win immediately, and God doesn't quickly make things right for David.
I'm wrestling with this truth, along with yesterday's post about God sending a "black mood" to settle on Saul and all of the prophetic ranting and raving. My conclusion? I don't get how God works. (No big surprise here.) But I am intrigued by how God is using this time to mold David into the man he will become. These wilderness years aren't accidental or wasted; David is learning a lot. And we get to witness a defining moment in David's life when he spares Saul's life in the cave:
"In the wilderness years, as David was dealing with God, a sense of the sacred developed in him. While he was living in that austere country, he became aware of holiness, of God's beauty and presence in everything...In the solitude and silence and emptiness of the wilderness, uncluttered and undistracted by what everyone else was saying and doing, David was able to see God's glory.
The wilderness taught David to see beauty everywhere. The wilderness was David's school in the preciousness of life. Through wilderness testing, David learned to see God in places and things he would never have thought to look previously. The wilderness immersed David in beauties so profound that revenge was unthinkable. It trained him in loyalties so binding that a broken oath was impossible. It exposed David to the presence of God in the most barren piece of rock so that no thing, and certainly no man, could ever be treated with scorn or contempt.
The holiness of the wilderness had entered David's soul, and now he saw holiness everywhere - even in Saul." Eugene PetersonI'm not going to say that my wilderness remotely compare to David's, but these past two years in particular have been hard. It's been a time of what feels like the dismantling of my soul - a deepening of my view of God, a more profound recognition of the depth of my unholiness, and the removal of many of the things I've leaned on for identity and self-worth. It's not been easy or painless.
I'm comforted by the knowledge that God is using these trying times in ways I can't fathom, molding and shaping me into the woman He made me to be. And I absolutely love the idea that God could be using this time to make me "aware of holiness, of God's beauty and presence in everything" because like David, I want to be able to see God's glory.
But I think I'm only beginning to understand that it just may take the wilderness experiences to do that in me...
Consider it a sheer gift, friends, when tests and challenges come at you from all sides. You know that under pressure, your faith-life is forced into the open and shows its true colors. So don't try to get out of anything prematurely. Let it do its work so you become mature and well-developed, not deficient in any way. James 1:2-4
3 comments:
Such a good reminder of the wilderness and how we learn lessons and grow in the wilderness, the dark hard times. I so often want to rush through them, but no, I won't. I'm here because God puts me here. Whenever. And I'll trust Him in the midst of this all! Please be praying for boldness and standing firm for me. I know sometimes I feel like I am only beginning this journey because I feel like I know so little compared to so many. But in my heart, I just know it's so real, me and Him. And as I learn more about Him and myself I need to remember that it's head and heart together.
Also please pray for safety during these times. Uncontrollable circumstances are really challenging me to HAVE to rely on our Rock. Thank you. For His sake, I will stand firm in Him!
Christina, I meant to thank you so much for your prayers last week. I know they are still working in my friend. I will be praying for you now too. Yes, cling to Him, your Rock and Shield. He will take care of the rest. He is so good and faithful!!
I really liked that version of the passage in James; the "don't try to get out of anything prematurely" totally spoke to me! That's pretty much a life comfort goal for me: try to come out unscathed - or avoid it all together! Ugh. My flesh is weak.
On another note, I was amazed at Saul's absolute rage against David. When he very intentionally had the priests' village massacred, my jaw dropped. Who does that - to the priests??!! - who is in their right mind?? No, that man was enraged. Yet David's move of mercy spoke to that man's heart and pierced through his seemingly blinding rage. Wouldn't I love to be used by God to extend mercy in an otherwise possibly escalating cirumstance?! Just a thought.
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