In my midlife, it's truly not very different. I'm just more sophisticated at it. What [neighborhood, schools, vacations, church, Bible study, books, job, ministry - take your pick] are others doing, reading, seeing, living? Sometimes, it's easy to see the upside of others' lives and more difficult to see the down. It seems that if we can be "just like everybody else", then we can feel comfortable with our choices, think we're doing okay, and attain that self-satisfaction that makes the doubt in our lives bearable.
"They wanted to fit in with the way other people ran their lives that seemed to be working for them...You reject Me and bow down before the prince of this world as though he were a good king who has your best interests at heart, and you don't even realize that's what you're doing...Following the ways of another may work for a season. It often leads to the shallow and short-lived laughter of pride in an accomplished agenda." [66LL]I would like to think that I'm not as blatant at rejecting God as the Israelites,
Appoint a king to rule us, just like everybody else...We will have a king to rule us! Then we'll be just like all the other nations. (8:5, 19-20)But really, where is my heart? It's much more often pulled toward proven methods for parenting, financial security, and marital peace than it's wrapped around God's agenda. It's yearning after more efficiency and effectiveness to smoothly run a household, manage a family calendar and fit exercise and Bible study into my well-planned day than it's desperate to enjoy God.
How is this not like my teenage daughters or the Israelites cry to be just like everyone else?
"You will understand My central message in this letter when you understand the tragedy of asking for a king other than Me." [66LL]
The day will come when you will cry in desperation because of this king you so much want for yourselves. (8:18)
2 comments:
Yeah, I'm wondering where my heart is today too. I'm feeling the pull to make life work more than the desire to seek God. It's the age-old lie that of course things will be better if I'm in control rather than waiting on God.
I want life my way in the same way that the Israelites wanted a king:
"But the people already had a king; God ruled Israel. And so their demand for a king, in the deepest sense, was an attempt to get out from under the rule of God. Rather than trusting their lives to his providential care, they were taking matters into their own hands, not living by faith but living defensively, cautiously, planning for their own future, and living in conformity with the ways of the world." Eugene Peterson, Conversations
Convicted.
Where is my heart today? Where am I not trusting God and asking for other Kings, like everyone else?
Busyness, my schedule and things to do, to accomplish are being my kings today. Myself? I feel like I need to get this done and that done- even if its all for God, my heart is not all there...for God alone. Even as I sit to read my Bible and spend time with Him, I can't stop thinking about the things I have to do next. Help me Lord to be still before You, my true King. Because I do not want any other Kings but You. Help me to just make TIME to bow down and worship You. This world is sucking me up and I'm letting it- little by little. Let nothing in this world seem attractive to me- so that I could truly come before You and not fit in here. Not desire to be like everyone else- today, a busybody.. Let your peace fill me and let me be like Mary before You today, my King <3
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