But they went anyway; recklessly and arrogantly they climbed... Numbers 14:44The Israelites grumbled against Moses and Aaron and even threatened to stone them. God describes them as evil-infested, grumblers and grousers, circulators of false rumors. He has sentenced them to "a long schooling in my displeasure". Yet, God said "I forgive them." He spared them.
God, slow to get angry and huge in loyal love, forgiving iniquity and rebellion and sin; still, never just whitewashing sin. Numbers 14:18 (referencing Exodus 34:6-7)The logical and sane response of the Israelites to their powerful, loving God's restraint from wiping them out, would have been to bow down, to thank Him for His mercy, to worship, to be quiet and listen in humility. They "mourned long and hard", but what were they mourning? Their sin or the punishment? Their rebellious hearts against a holy God or heading back into the wilderness? Their true selves are revealed when they respond, "We're here; we're ready." (14:40) They believed their admission of sin and new resolve to go up and attack the land, would give them victory. They presumed that their actions could change the course God had set before them. They were still focused on behaviors and not dealing with the depravity of their hearts. Moses tried to warn them, "God isn't with you in this--". But they went anyway.
Caleb had a different story, a different spirit. (14:24) He passionately followed God. At the end of Caleb's life, he said,
I wholly followed the Lord my God...the Lord has kept me alive...if the Lord goes with me I will drive them out, just as the Lord said. Joshua 14:8-12The Israelites' lens was focused on self and on doing: We're here. We're ready.
Caleb's lens was focused on God and on trusting: If God is pleased...He will lead...He'll give it.
God, You know the true lens of my heart - focused on self and what I can do; mourning my circumstances, not my sin. Change my heart to be like Caleb's heart - different, passionately following You.
3 comments:
I was puzzled by the "long and hard" mourning. It didn't seem like they spent much time doing it. The very next sentence says, "But early the next morning they started out for the high hill country."
I appreciated your comments, Staci, about their belief that the admission of sin and a new resolve would give them victory. They didn't realize (or seem to care) that they'd already disobeyed God and there would be consequences. Definitely reckless and arrogant.
I feel like I've dealt with this a lot in some of my most difficult relationships - lip service about being sorry but not really dealing with the sin and depravity, so the behavior patterns continue. It's hard to stay close to people who are so self-centered and to have authentic relationships.
I see this tendency in myself as well, and it's a battle to stay connected to what's going on in my heart.
Gotta go! Kids are waking up...
May I not live recklessly and arrogantly with my God or with others.
What's ha**en5ng 5n y64 n6t t6 y64 5s 14st be4at5f43....AAAHHHHH...I'LL BE BACK IF I CAN GET THE CALCULATOR OFF... ;)
I'm back...had to reboot. You girls are both beautiful to me. There is Someone Who is stirring you that so stirs me. No formulas for you. You're both just awesome and touch deep places in me. What is happening "in" you is so greater than the hardships of what's happened "to" you. Your wrestle is recognized and you wear it well, 2 Cor 2:14. Real Freedom is growing in your real battles. It's easy for us to see the beauty. I relate. Definitely relate. Over here on the other side of town. HE is so saving me from my plaguing self-centeredness and freeing me to love.
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