With that said, I was again surprised at where God seemed to focus my heart in these two chapters. In Gen. 42:36-38, Jacob's response reflects what is so often in my heart. His sons are asking to take Benjamin back to Egypt in order to get the grain that they need to survive. He responds that, he'll "be left with nothing"; refuses to give them Benjamin; and finally says, "he is all I have left". Great tear jerker material for a Hallmark movie.
But, what are these statements really exposing about Jacob's inner life? Out of fear and self-protection, he has made Benjamin an idol. God has blessed him through a long, winding, and difficult circumstance with Joseph (although he doesn't know it yet), but Jacob is unwilling to let go of his idol to receive God's provision.
Keep in mind that this isn't Jacob's final word on the matter - chapter 43 is coming. But, what is my final word on the idols that God is asking me to release so that He can fully provide all that I need and desire in Himself? Yesterday, my idols were numbing myself with TV, food, and a little retail to deal with the compulsion for an escape from the difficulties in front of me. Icky. Didn't really feel any better at the end of indulging myself.
Jesus said it like this:
"If you don't go all the way with me, through thick and thin, you don't deserve me. If your first concern is to look after yourself, you'll never find yourself. But if you forget about yourself and look to me, you'll find both yourself and me." Matthew 10:38-39 (Msg)What am I holding on to that feels like if I let go I'll be left with nothing? Or that I'll be left with less than I feel I'm entitled to? Husband, children, remodeled kitchen, reputation, fitness, savings, education, fun experiences, loyal friends....
What is God's provision that I'm missing while holding so tightly to these things?
3 comments:
Wow. Great insight, Staci. I, too, couldn't help but notice Jacob's tight hold on Benjamin. I, too, want to constantly recognize the idols in my own life that I cling to, falsely believing that "they are all I have" and seeking comfort in them before Jesus.
I was also touched by the emotional response of Joseph. When the brothers were speaking to each other, in their own language, thinking Joseph couldn't understand...talking about how they were getting paid back for what they did to their brother many years ago...Joseph doesn't smirk and say, "YES! I told you so!" Instead, he cries. He is moved by their response. Are they even truly repentant, or just sorry that they are finally paying the consequences of their sin? Who knows...but Joseph weeps...and forgives.
I know our God is like that. He is saddened by our sin. He weeps when he sees us reaping the consequences of our sin. And yet...He forgives us and welcomes us back, honoring us at the head table, with a lavish banquet.
Staci and Amanda - I agree with both of your comments. I was surprised by Jacob's blatant favoritism and selfish responses, but I understand it because I often see that in myself.
I've noticed that in these chapters, the father is called Jacob, not Israel. I'd like to understand the chronology better because it was in chapter 32 that God renamed Jacob. So did these events happen before Jacob wrestles all night with God and is changed? Or is Jacob still a major work-in-progress for God that he hasn't fully taken on the name Israel? I don't know.
I'm truly amazed by God's Spirit working through Joseph. After all he's been through - the betrayal, the wrongs against him - he still was a true man of God. He was suddenly pulled out of prison to interpret dreams for Pharaoh, and it was obvious to all of the pagans that God's Spirit was on Joseph. So much so that Pharaoh offered him the job on the spot to run the country for him! Wow. After that one interaction, Pharaoh said to Joseph, "You're the man for us. God has given you the inside story - no one is as qualified as you in experience and wisdom." (41:39-40)
I wonder exactly what it was about Joseph that he was such a reflection of God to everyone around him. I wonder what it would look like for me to reflect God's Spirit to the people around me. Being in God's Word on a regular basis for encouragement and conviction is certainly a great place to start...
Gen 41:52 Joseph named his son Ephraim--You have prospered me in the land of my sorrows. LOVE IT that Joseph didn't minimize what had happened to him like those who say "it's all good." It was not right what his dad did, his brothers did, his Pharaoh did to him. God will have the last word. How in the world did Joseph "let that go" to embrace his sorrows & find a Good God in the midst. Now, the world is at his feet & he's humble. Holding this story close--you can move from conniving to surrendered. Staci, the quote is found in: A Users Guide to the Bible by Lion Press.
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